morose toenails

i just recieved a facebook request from a woman, who was in my year at school…

She used to live in Cwmllynfell, but now lives in Bristol.

Funnily enough i was trying to find her a while ago but with no luck. when i was in school i really fancied her like hell, thought she had really sexy legs and body – before anyone complains about my perverse sexist attitude bear in my mind i am talking about a 15 year old me….but in school i never had luck with girls. I was always the class clown, which would have been ok, because it did get the girls laughing, but would have been a lot more useful had i then capitalised on it in order to get me a girlfriend….but i never did. She had been minded to contact me when she happened to see me getting interviewed on a TV programme that Elis James did on about welsh comedians…in her message one thing she says is : ‘I’m glad you made it’.

That made me laugh….and i’m sat here thinking ‘made it?’ Life it’s like a sad play. I’m sat hear with no work because of Covid, and with not much confidence in the future…will comedy ever come back? and if it does will i have to prove myself once again to those promoters out there?? Probably…

Anyway, i glanced at this ‘old friend’s’ facebook page, and the photos there. I saw family albums, images of her with her husband, pictures of her teenage kids, a boy and a girl, one big a happy family image…a couple of shots were taken inside (and outside) a cruise ships….Yuurgh ! …it all comes back to , my struggle to make those floating audiences laugh, the horrible ents officer and how he spoke to me; the banal tedious lifestyles of a society who sees a cruise ship as a grand tour of the senses.

No, please.

I know i make sweeping generalisations and with them presume to know what these people are like. But then they fuckin hurt me, and so did she when i was in school…she didin’t know she hurt me.

Ond really annoying thing about people you used to know contacting you out the blue on facebook is them saying things like ‘ you haven’t changed’…Of course i have changed. I was a boy when you knew me now i’m a grown adult, or a groaning adult, depending on your POV. And i know this woman thinks i’m ‘funny, and tells me so…I reply: ‘Funny is it? No , I’m a serious person….thanks for getting in touch.’