It’s unfortunate that the comedy circuit is such that people within it can lose work, that is, are punished, for no objective reason. Often accusations are made against comedians, witch hunts are started, naming and shaming occurs, hateful comments abound, especially where emotive subjects are concerned. The use of facebook (and other internet platforms) is key to all this. On it people are willing to cross the line of what would be deemed normally acceptable in public ‘real’ life and every day work environments. Using social media as their messenger – and as a torture weapon – lots of your ‘friends’ can be reached quickly. The freedom of restriction on social media is for the writer a blessing, but is actually a curse, as it can give free voice to any accusation or evil comments without any consequences for the author. For there is no legal comeback to online abuse. I mean the law doesn’t (or can’t) help when it comes to ‘keyboard warriors’. (Which i know from experience). So the authors of texts/tweets/messages no matter how libellous the content, evade any legal challenge.

 And I do not use the word ‘ torture’ flippantly. As technologically advanced as we are, when people use social media to ‘bomb’ others, to verbally abuse, to name others all the while knowing that tens of their facebook friends will join in underneath – in the comments section – that is literally torture. the torture of a person’s mental wellbeing. It is the torture of losing work and income because others believe in what the first commentator says, it is the torture of bullying.  By inflicting it, as progressive as we think we are, we have actually regressed back into the dark ages. we have become the inquisition forcing confession through the use of pain. Mental torture should never be condoned.  It should not be allowed to happen. 

     one reason why it is allowed is that the comedy scene does not have any form of governing body. A comedy worker governing body. If there was one, that is, if there was a governing body run by comedians proper – not the distant Equity, not necessarily a union at all – but a body supported by, run by comedians for comedians, then certain procedures could be put into place to deal with problems that arise between members. a problem which may include the conduct of a comedian. To deal with it civilly is the goal, using procedures that already exist in other walks of life e.g. in the – excuse the pun – civil service, procedures that aim to protect its employees when they have been wronged and to do so discreetly and privately.  as it stands if a comedian (or wannabe comedian) feels passionate about an issue not only can he or she or they write what the fuck they like about it publicly, but they can also throw mud at, implicate, accuse, or simply name, another person they see fit to associate with it. In my opinion this abuse both of the internet and of a fellow comic does not help anybody. If someone has transgressed then let them go through due process. for any accusation, even if justified, needs to be dealt with fairly. 

    The reasons why a governing body like this has never been set up, i mean set up for ALL comedians not just for a certain group, are manifold.  One reason for sure is the essential character of people who like to make jokes, for they are often the the piss takers, their job being to make fun of things, especially of authority.  in that sense there is no room for any serious organisation within the comedy community that might become seen as god forbid worthy.  Second, a lot of comedians are lazy, and to be fair they have other things to do – after all it’s a full time job finding  gigs. scraping for gigs at the bottom of the forums.

  i believe one promoter revealed another reason when he told me that, in order for the comedy circuit to continue the way it is then a sacrifice is required from time to time.  Meaning what ? that the wild west anything goes attitude on social media is a great thing and is worth perpetuating? If he is right then the comedy community is, as far as i’m concerned, broken. In a community proper you do not allow a fellow member to be sacrificed! not just like that, not without first considering such things as the benefit of the doubt, such things as underlying FACTS. 

 there are of course many unfair things happening on a regular basis on the comedy circuit: cancelled gigs, unpaid fees, unfair criticism, bad sound systems, the list goes on. It is also a system based on the private ownership of clubs, and it is the opinions of these private owners which ultimately dictates whether a comic will work next month. the comedy community is a tough place to be. It’s tough to get work at the best of times. It’s extremely tough if you are of the thin skinned, sensitive kind. And perhaps all these unfair things will go on, perhaps comedians will continue to badmouth others, to misunderstand, to dislike, to hate others. So be it, but let’s stop with the bombing people already, it’s not a joke

 

duu

what a negative thing life is sometimes. but i can t work out whether it’s life as a thing that comes your way that causes the negative feelings, or if it’s a subjective slant on life that i have. The wearer of life.

Yesterday i took a few bags of second hand clothes to the cash4clothes man – he refused them, saying that the last lot i submitted smelt of cats’ piss….jeez, things are really hitting rock bottom when you get your old clothes rejected by the cash4clothes man. Apparently this was the message relayed by the main cash4clothes bloke in the area, based down by the liberty stadium. so i took the bags i had – about ten – directly to his shop. he of course had no idea who i was, and he took the clothes, all of them, weighed them, and have me 14 quid for them. The cats’ piss was a one off thing, and i felt a bit hurt by that stinging remark.

where i go with the clothes usually is down in llansamlet – a couple of blokes who also take in metal, in fact they specialise in scrap. so if any copper, aluminium, lead etc turns up i go down there. The blokes there often tease me, with weird shouts of NOEEELL!! It feels odd, i mean have they no idea how to talk to customers ?? to members of the public…? But there you go, if they know you do comedy they feel it’s okay to take the mickey.

another downer, but only slight, was a gig offered and then pulled from me. Mirth control. Eevr since they pulled my Jersey gigs in march, without giving notice, i ‘ve been a bit upset with them. they can’t be bothered giving me replacement work, and when i am offered something there’s usually a problem. There’s no doubt that my comedy world is turning to shit. Still, i did a coupel of great gigs over the weekend – one in hull and one in Peterbro, the latter being in a church on a sunday afternoon. The gig was family firendly and indeed there were a few kids present. i thought i pulled it off swimmingly.

shame i can’t get more work, but there you go, i’m not going to beg these bookers. Oh well, at least i don’t live in Palestine where my daily life would be a lot worse. at least i have food and water, and all that crap. See that bloke last weekend, he led a chant in glastonbury calling Death to the IDF. which was promptly called an antisemitic remark by the media and the politicians. What is going on? i mean, it’s a chant in a rock festival, not meant to be taken literally is it ?? it’s not like actually killing people.

I think we are living in a corrupt culture, the government don’t seem to be condemning Israel as much as they would another country using apartheid tactics. Fuckin hell, one recalls the whole shit show that was Iraq invasion, and then it was strange how Blair and labour seemed so keen on joining in with the invasion, despite there being no WMD. It’s like you really wanna know what exactly is going on in the background? what are the interests at stake ? money ? Oil? weapons? Talk to us world leaders.

USA has vetoed UN call for immediate ceasefire in Israel/Palestine. so what’s their game ? they must be gaining something from doing that. It’s fuckin despicable. Trump. the best thing he ever said was last week, talking about the conflict between israel and this time Iran : ‘They don’t know what the fuck they’re doing’.

sometimes it’s like all you can do is get down, cos there’s nowhere else to go

never

have i seen the lawns look so greeeeeeen, the weather has been scorching of late, but then again i’m not to blame, a victim of the rain. Marauders have stolen my land, my language, and they will have my soul if they think they can get it. Georgio Marauder. what is life but a pitiless, pointless exercise. The gigs i thought i had , that filled my diary like flowers in the park, now no more.

What to do? recount things i guess….but what seemed important yesterday now has faded. the back of mind has so many memories, memories with their backs against the wall. I came across a large teddy bear, i mean big, bigger than an eight year old. Not that i keep eight year olds in my shed as height gauges. But of wouldn’t that be jolly…

It was in new condition but a bit wet from the drizzle. so i grabbed it and took it home, and dried it on the washing line. EBAY!

Benn practising my guitar, scales n shit. worked out the chords to Louie Louie – the kingsmen version of this song is great, a bit kooky, all over the place and yet comes together. The lyrics of the song caused a furore in its day. but the truth is the singer sings it such that you can’t work out what he’s saying. the song is the viewpoint of a sailor, going home to Jamaica to see his love again, he ‘s talking to a bloke ,Louie, about it. Instead of saying ‘ I’ he says ‘Me’ like they do over there. Me said a ship across the sea…it’s magical. But in the conservative early 60s , even if they couldn’t hear the words, some people took offence anyway. the tone of the song is probably what upset them it’s muddy, it’s electric, it’s a dirty mix. Ironically, the bit of the recording that is actually rude was never noticed – the drummer shouts ‘fuck’ about a third of the way through. you can clearly hear him, even on the youtube. well, you can hear him shout something, faintly. but they got it on the track.

Anyway, i realised it’s a stepping stone, i mean musically it’s so simple, but also has a minor chord which makes it different . the rhythm is derived from cuba. How i wish i’d gone to see the Bueno Vista Social Club when it was around – could have played some bingo (when you win you shout commune). It’s a great song.

Chess. getting better at it i think. still quite boring a lot of the time, i mean, once you’ve had your queen pinched it’s like an uphill battle. but that’s what the endgame is all about. It’s important, according to Jeff, to play out the endgames. to be able to play them out. what is this? chess or the marvel universe ?

Inferiority – i’m not saying it’s a complex, but it’s there, a feeling, sometimes. maybe there’s a place where i wouldn’t feel it, maybe there’s a workshop, or a therapy out there that will help. Maybe i should get a keyboard for my laptop arranged vertically, who knows what, if any, solution there is. to be had. i saw Lucas, and stayed over night. watched an absolutely brilliant film called Miss Violence. Greek. It was a slice of life, the european film makers do this better than US. the unfurling of events before your eyes, gradually and realistically. without giving anything away, without any contrived plot points, the horror of a situation hits you – like a diary. Not really a story as such. a bit like that Rumanian film about the woman , during communism, who wanted an abortion. A gruelling unfurling of events, over a few weeks.

If an inferiority complex was simple it wouln t be called a complex. excuse my spelling, but i can t b botehred going back anymore, to correct the erros, it’s too much hassle. warts and all it is.

i once did a show in a pub in carnarvon called the ship and castle, but locals called it the shit and hassle.

got a glass of something thrown over me in that pub. the woman who did it did on teh way out, as she walked past the stage. she hadn’t likes me referring to her and her friend as two fat slags. but it was more implied, i mean i never said outright you are the 2 FS. (they were on the large side, and the 2FS are comic characters, i thought they’d laugh). this is the problem with a comedy gig in a pub, with no entry fee, and with no allocated space.

So long ago. and now i’m writing crap. trying to forge something, been thinking about rejigging this website, drooping certain pages, ( or dropping even) changing them into something else. i need a place where i can attempt to construct a script or a book or or

+++++++++++++++p/

like a character voice instead of my voice…

what else happened ? been digging up the turf on teh front. it’s actually organic degraded matter from grass and weeds, built up over the years. it looks like it was put there deliberately, but no, it’s built up on top of the flat stones underneath. the bloke who lived here before, eleri’s father, was a good gardener, and made a rock garden out front.

i actually do have a gig this saturday, in or near kidderminster.

Clwb SANCler

had some comedy ideas in my head, kept meaning to write them down , now one of them’s gone into the ether.

DID a really great show in Ivy Bush hotel, Carmarthen, with the players and supporters of San Cler RFC. Delme Thomas in the audience. everyone smart in blazers and ties, the meal was pretty good and it was good company, with Gwyndaf the organiser being a bachan da. He gave me a tie. I never promise to mention members of the audience in such a gig, but as it turned out i went around the room a bit, and threw in improvised bits within my routines, -mind you that was to some extent necessitated by the lack of reaction to some of my jokes – it went swimmingly, there was one bit where i mention my gfriend, who smokes 100 cigs a day and as a result speaks with a constant horse voice, – suddenly people in the audience cheer and point out a chap in the middle of the room. i go over to him and turns out he speaks just like this, – apparently he’s had so many choke holds done on him in the course of the game that his voice has reacted badly. My friend Mel came along to the gig. She ‘s very young for someone who’s sixty – oh wait, i’m 59! fuckin hell, no wonder older people start saying age is just a number, because it’s better to forget that age is also mental and physical deterioration.

I keep meaning to write a note to my brother, to ask him if i can come live and work in one of his sheds. need to make a film b4 i die.

Sadly, on the same night as my sancler rfc gig i’d had show marked in for Cu Mumbles, but we had to pull it due to lack of ticket sales. The show was meant to feature Sandro And Simon, the problematic pub boys – thought it would do well ticket wise, they made a promo video for it and all. But no, no joy, maybe cos there was a fuckin festival in margam park on that weekend. who knows.

too late the renfrew woman

thought i had a lot to say, but maybe was wrong. Have read a couple of good books lately including a jeeves and wooster . It’s quite light actually, am amazed how people rave about his stuff. i mean i agree it is witty. also witty but in a different way is Diary of a Provincial Lady – very english, middle class, when people had servants, in the 1930s , but not much money. a lot of the humour from the latter comes from repression of feelings and superficiality.

everything changes, and the challenge is to adapt with the changes.

Aurora Floyd is an epic thriller romance from 1860, written by Elizabeth Braddock, it’s also a grand read, it was lying by my bedside for three years, idle. now finally i can give it to the charity shop, having been fully used and read. Which reminds me, went again to the cash for clothes, who also give money for scrap – made about 40 quid in the last coupel of weeks from various items, Have been clearing out eleri’s father’s shed, and found bits of copper, aliminium and lead, all worth a few quid. shame i can’t find any gold the price of which is currently flying.

Yesterday i went back to bed around 11 and slept for a coupel of hours, but as i lay there i tried to do a guided mediation, – or should i say beditation -and did in fact have a coupel of sharp dreams, which i felt could have been symbolic of something. One in particular.

Met dr geraint morris again a coupel of weeks ago, but get the feeling he don’t want to see me again. well, he’s a christian.

did a great gig in Tyldesley, the booker complimented me by saying how unpredictable my act/set was. but hell of a long drive. still it’s worth it to do these things if that’s the only thing you got in your diary that week. It’s not my fault, i mean, i am taking a break, but also those cornish gigs a fortnight ago disappeared, £600 down the drain, because the booker had a stroke, but then. also, the club owner apparently had cancer. i mean, what sort of excuses are these ! The bottom’s falling out of the industry, or is it just my bottom falling put of my pants ? forthright fortnight.

Went kayaking on sunday, have only missed one week this season thus far, my arms hurt as i use the paddle, but that’s probably a good sign. Went to see luke who was away for a week. talked about adult stuff, which i can hardly repeat here can i ? oh fuck it, he likes to go to orgies, occasionally, in cardiff. i mean, it wouldn’t be my scene, but am fascinated to hear the details. not really details about the u know what but more about the people who attend, who these people are ,where do they come from…? like, the organiser is a thoracic surgeon, which i find most unexpected, as i imagine, in an orgy, there’d be a bunch of lads, with beer bellies and tattoos, but hey my prejudices go back to the 70s, so i really aught to revise them. I mean tattoos are of course pretty common today, any cunt has them. And i guess if you don’t harm anybody else then what you do in your spare time is totally dandy and fine. But then i get confused ‘cos a man can’t dare say about a female prostitute (Sex worker/escort/masseuse) Oh she does it ‘cos she enjoys doing it, without potentially getting flack from others. But thing is the females at the centre of these orgies are not doing it cos they want money for drugs, they do it cos it’s their thing.

So anyway, my beditation made me feel a bit guilty but i felt it did me good.