thought i had a lot to say, but maybe was wrong. Have read a couple of good books lately including a jeeves and wooster . It’s quite light actually, am amazed how people rave about his stuff. i mean i agree it is witty. also witty but in a different way is Diary of a Provincial Lady – very english, middle class, when people had servants, in the 1930s , but not much money. a lot of the humour from the latter comes from repression of feelings and superficiality.

everything changes, and the challenge is to adapt with the changes.

Aurora Floyd is an epic thriller romance from 1860, written by Elizabeth Braddock, it’s also a grand read, it was lying by my bedside for three years, idle. now finally i can give it to the charity shop, having been fully used and read. Which reminds me, went again to the cash for clothes, who also give money for scrap – made about 40 quid in the last coupel of weeks from various items, Have been clearing out eleri’s father’s shed, and found bits of copper, aliminium and lead, all worth a few quid. shame i can’t find any gold the price of which is currently flying.

Yesterday i went back to bed around 11 and slept for a coupel of hours, but as i lay there i tried to do a guided mediation, – or should i say beditation -and did in fact have a coupel of sharp dreams, which i felt could have been symbolic of something. One in particular.

Met dr geraint morris again a coupel of weeks ago, but get the feeling he don’t want to see me again. well, he’s a christian.

did a great gig in Tyldesley, the booker complimented me by saying how unpredictable my act/set was. but hell of a long drive. still it’s worth it to do these things if that’s the only thing you got in your diary that week. It’s not my fault, i mean, i am taking a break, but also those cornish gigs a fortnight ago disappeared, £600 down the drain, because the booker had a stroke, but then. also, the club owner apparently had cancer. i mean, what sort of excuses are these ! The bottom’s falling out of the industry, or is it just my bottom falling put of my pants ? forthright fortnight.

Went kayaking on sunday, have only missed one week this season thus far, my arms hurt as i use the paddle, but that’s probably a good sign. Went to see luke who was away for a week. talked about adult stuff, which i can hardly repeat here can i ? oh fuck it, he likes to go to orgies, occasionally, in cardiff. i mean, it wouldn’t be my scene, but am fascinated to hear the details. not really details about the u know what but more about the people who attend, who these people are ,where do they come from…? like, the organiser is a thoracic surgeon, which i find most unexpected, as i imagine, in an orgy, there’d be a bunch of lads, with beer bellies and tattoos, but hey my prejudices go back to the 70s, so i really aught to revise them. I mean tattoos are of course pretty common today, any cunt has them. And i guess if you don’t harm anybody else then what you do in your spare time is totally dandy and fine. But then i get confused ‘cos a man can’t dare say about a female prostitute (Sex worker/escort/masseuse) Oh she does it ‘cos she enjoys doing it, without potentially getting flack from others. But thing is the females at the centre of these orgies are not doing it cos they want money for drugs, they do it cos it’s their thing.

So anyway, my beditation made me feel a bit guilty but i felt it did me good.