Oh hi. New year’s eve again.

And tonight i have a gig via Zoom. yes old Noel still working. not really – it’s very sporadic.

This a funny time of year even in normal times. not only do you get Christmas then New year, but i also get my birthday on Xmas Eve. (Yes that’s why I’m called Eve). I am officially 55, or as my brother quaintly put it in an email, middle aged. Middle aged??? i don’t feel it, and i hope i don’t think it. It sounds worse than it is methinks. It sounds like something thats swept in with the black death. Sometimes i wish i had a middle aged spread: a ranch in Oregon would be just fine.

Miriam Margoyles.

This year has been a wash out in many ways. But there’s always next year. All things must pass.

I hope it’s not too early but let me wish you reader a happy new year/Blwyddyn newydd dda…I say ‘early’ as I’m wishing it for 2026…and as I wish it i look out my window and see actual snow…only a few tiny flakes, fragile reminders of white Christmases past…more like dandruff to be honest

Listen I’m black. I mean I’m back, No ‘el here; and the whispers in my head. we are going strong..

Believe me when i tell you…i’ve got nothing to say.

except, a memory. You can’t remember memories, you can only let them come.

My early memories come back….as whispers on the wind. That wind that blew on me when she left.

I was four, possibly three. Crouched on the kitchen floor, toy gun in my hand. I creep under the table. i point the the gun at Juno. She’s gnarls, She threatens with her teeth. I back away. The barrel of the gun her instinct tells her is a risk.

How i remember that lesson. taught to me by a dog.

Ban the gun. it’s evil.

Or is it, on the other hand, only as good ar as bad as the person using it. Chwedl Shane.

that’s a riddle. and i don’t believe Shane’s words, except in an ideal world. . the gun is a weapon that cuts out time, cuts out the hassle.

that’s not a recomendation.

But A lot of good people i think pick up a gun. Because they’re confused, because of a momentary lapse in their Reason (Overhead the albatross flies motionless in time for tea). And they do bad things with it.

Can anything good be done by a gun?

I was offered a gig of sorts. It was a five day reading of a play. It would have been done via Zoom, and would have paid a goodly sum.- goodly compared to the nothing I am currenty getting from comedy perfoming. I turned it down and still feel a bit gutted about that. Why did i turn it down? thank you for not asking and thus forcing me to tell you…

In that same week i had pledged, and indeed signed a contract, to take part in Mastermind Cymru – yes a welsh language version of the famous quiz. I hadn’t actually signed up as a contestant, but as a stand by, a substitute, in the event of a contestant dropping out. Being a standby was the only way i could guarantee getting any kind of fee – apparently the contestants themselves don’t get paid for answering really difficult questions. Who knew ? I’m guessing everyone else involved with the programme was paid. Or was it only their substitutes who were paid…? (queue Twilight Zone music).

But, anyway, I was to be paid £200 just for being at the ready. ( actually i thought it was £200 per recording there being two recordings – i was wrong). So, when my play writing friend called and offered me this other opportunity, a more creative opportunity artistically speaking, I was in a quandary – You can tell i’ve been reading that Woody Allen autobiography ! – actually, i was in a quarry, well, stoned. Which would have been better? an intense 7 hour day for 5 days, acting, reading, chopping and changing (this remidns me, i must start writing a play ) ? Or the hot seat for one or possible two days? I had my subjects all set: Beatles compsitions, and the songs od Edward H. Dafis

I was over cautious, as i am often am. Perhaps i should have just accepted the play reading, and taken a gamble that i would not be required for Mastermind. but, you know, these days, with health issues around evry corner, the producers were worried that someone would surely drop out.

Guess what ? No one dropped out.

Ironic…? No sad, I was sat on my arse for yet another week. And there’s nothing worse for the self esteem, th anxiety, than to think what might have been.

Incidentally, for Mastermind, you are asked to sight a reference book for each subject. Fpr the Beatles I had Mathew Lewisohn’s masterly The Beatles Recordings Sessions. For Edward H’ Dafis songs I had the pamphlet from their complete CD boxset…pathetcic really considering they are one of the greatest rock bands in the pantheon of welsh rock bands .

It’s a little sad there is no scholarly text book available for them as there is for the Beatles….I’m off to write it!

Just read Woody Allen’s autobiogarphy Apropos of Nothing. It is surprisingly blunt about various aspects of his life, and goes into detail re the events surrounding hos controversial relationship with Soon-Yi.

But i enjoyed his reportage, especially the stuff about the sixties, where he worked with Sellers, O’Toole, Orson Welles and others.

He insists he is not an intellectual, and goes out of way to demonstrate how ordinary he is when it comes to his thinking abilities. But i don’t know…is this false modesty? I mean, look at the title of this book…what the hell does that mean?

On the other hand perhaps having knowledge is not the same as being an intellectual.

sounds like the title for a Pete & Dud TV special…Noel James here, Britain’s last illegible bachelor, and if you don’t believe me look at my catchphrase: Duuuw o’n i’n dod lawr man’na myn uffarn i.

Last time i said i would write something about Radio Wales. as usual with me it is all driven by bitterness. well not so much bitterness as butterness, i’ve been margarinlised. I sent my ideas in, as i did last year, for the important commisioning editors of our national radio station to peruse, and like last year….nothing ! I get given nothing. Of course this happens to loads of people (i’m guessing hundreds), rejection goes with the territory. But i was annoyed, my ideas this year were i thought just up their cul de sac; varied ideas, five in total, covering a lot of their required bases: anniversaries/birthdays; comedy; voices we don’t hear very often on the radio, diversity…