too late the renfrew woman

thought i had a lot to say, but maybe was wrong. Have read a couple of good books lately including a jeeves and wooster . It’s quite light actually, am amazed how people rave about his stuff. i mean i agree it is witty. also witty but in a different way is Diary of a Provincial Lady – very english, middle class, when people had servants, in the 1930s , but not much money. a lot of the humour from the latter comes from repression of feelings and superficiality.

everything changes, and the challenge is to adapt with the changes.

Aurora Floyd is an epic thriller romance from 1860, written by Elizabeth Braddock, it’s also a grand read, it was lying by my bedside for three years, idle. now finally i can give it to the charity shop, having been fully used and read. Which reminds me, went again to the cash for clothes, who also give money for scrap – made about 40 quid in the last coupel of weeks from various items, Have been clearing out eleri’s father’s shed, and found bits of copper, aliminium and lead, all worth a few quid. shame i can’t find any gold the price of which is currently flying.

Yesterday i went back to bed around 11 and slept for a coupel of hours, but as i lay there i tried to do a guided mediation, – or should i say beditation -and did in fact have a coupel of sharp dreams, which i felt could have been symbolic of something. One in particular.

Met dr geraint morris again a coupel of weeks ago, but get the feeling he don’t want to see me again. well, he’s a christian.

did a great gig in Tyldesley, the booker complimented me by saying how unpredictable my act/set was. but hell of a long drive. still it’s worth it to do these things if that’s the only thing you got in your diary that week. It’s not my fault, i mean, i am taking a break, but also those cornish gigs a fortnight ago disappeared, £600 down the drain, because the booker had a stroke, but then. also, the club owner apparently had cancer. i mean, what sort of excuses are these ! The bottom’s falling out of the industry, or is it just my bottom falling put of my pants ? forthright fortnight.

Went kayaking on sunday, have only missed one week this season thus far, my arms hurt as i use the paddle, but that’s probably a good sign. Went to see luke who was away for a week. talked about adult stuff, which i can hardly repeat here can i ? oh fuck it, he likes to go to orgies, occasionally, in cardiff. i mean, it wouldn’t be my scene, but am fascinated to hear the details. not really details about the u know what but more about the people who attend, who these people are ,where do they come from…? like, the organiser is a thoracic surgeon, which i find most unexpected, as i imagine, in an orgy, there’d be a bunch of lads, with beer bellies and tattoos, but hey my prejudices go back to the 70s, so i really aught to revise them. I mean tattoos are of course pretty common today, any cunt has them. And i guess if you don’t harm anybody else then what you do in your spare time is totally dandy and fine. But then i get confused ‘cos a man can’t dare say about a female prostitute (Sex worker/escort/masseuse) Oh she does it ‘cos she enjoys doing it, without potentially getting flack from others. But thing is the females at the centre of these orgies are not doing it cos they want money for drugs, they do it cos it’s their thing.

So anyway, my beditation made me feel a bit guilty but i felt it did me good.

dai

Dai Davies, a comedian, who had some mental issues, recently died. i’m not sure how he died. but the funny thing was i’d been thinking about him the day before i heard the news. I knew him when he lived in my area for a bit, then he moved towards cardiff. he got a bit nastier about 3 years ago, i think his issues got the better of him. He threatened to come around my house and ‘give you a slap you cunt’ if i didn’t give him some money for a bike which he’d gifted to me years before, before lockdown. So he was a complex person to say the least. He could be a good listener…and that’s what i was thinking about when he entered my mind.

since

being fucked over by a fellow- well, alleged- comedian i see no future for me with in the world of live comedy. it’s a mess, and anyway i have done everything i wanted to do. i have proven to myself that my father was wrong for a start, that i can make a living from my comedic talent.

so now i’ll go onto something else, why stay in a nest of vipers any longer?

And the boys from the problematic pub podcast have taken over the helm so to speak. they have become successful through their podcast, and, remarkably, have done that without leaving wales.

I get one gig after another pulled this year. Mirth control pulled the Jersey weekend, and don’t seem very keen to get me any replacement gigs. Poor Jon Keys of Paramount comedy has had a mini stroke. Jeez,,,have we reached a cross roads? A rubicon. (mind you someone form his company could have informed me that the Cornwall shows had been cancelled 😦

Had a weekend of gigs in Jersey cancelled in March – it’s enough to drive you to crime, rob a bank,

apart from these (usual) disappointments there’s other bookers out there – who i won’t name – who seem to enjoy breaking the hearts of people like myself, but of course they’ll never succeed in actually doing that. Not in my case. But what a strange business, the work you get depends not on any organised system, nor indeed on merit, but on some random whim and fancy on the part of a club owner. Half of them make decisions based on hearsay i.e. they weren’t actually present at your performance. They one day decide you’re not funny, that they don’t like you. In my case that’s compounded by the fact that a group of people, some of whom i’ve never met, decided to act like fascists, and accused me of shit. Where’s the honour in that ? where’s the community? shove it up your arse.

________________

MY friend on facebook is often posting videos of herself, crying a lot of the time. it makes me sad. But then it also makes me sad that i can never cry, even though i do feel some repressed grief inside.

shtick

shtick it to the man….i knew a person who’d fucked a tree, which explains why she had a stick up her arse.

no one i think is in my tree. aahhhh the all well and good society.

only

one gig last weekend. in founders bar swansea, on the legendary drag that is Wind Street. It went alright, but the noise from behind the curtain makes it harder. Josh Elton was brilliant at the end – he has come on leaps and bounds.