keep writing here. but i am lethargic. so resolve to do a little bit every day.

been to llanberis, did the opening night of new club there. beautiful setting. acts all went well. lesley the landlady had tried a club before , but something happened, the consensus was the comedians were a bit offensive. so, for this first night of a new version i got james sherwood, the brilliant keyboard playing satirist to headline. He totally delivered…yet ironically – as i thought he’d be gentle and inoffensive – he was the only act to drop the C bomb, three times! no matter, he was great. a great night as had all round.

Went to Manningtree in essex 2 days before, – ended up staying in Charlie’s house. Charlie turns out to b a friend of Harriet’s. Harriet- or Lyndon – is a very old friend, and ex , of mine. i thought she how lived in Gibralter. but i rang her on the off chance. she’s from Suffolk originally. Turns out she’s back living in the old country. and it was her birthday…long story short i got a place to stay, with abed, and brekfast. which was better than the Staying In Paddington all Night option.

On the friday morning the snow in suffolk was suffolkating….but luckily the trains were still functioning. so i got a train back to cardiff, where i’d left my car…Oh my car…in the space of a week i had to replace the front brake pads, as well as the exhaust. still, it’s going great. bit quieter since replacing exhaust.

Norwegian Church gig on the friday was a success, despite the fact the heating never came on. Maybe that’s why it went so well- they say people laugh more when it’s colder!

a poster from the late 80s

Billy Joel said Life is a just a series of hellos and goodbyes. That’s what it is. i said good bye to two opportunities for gigs recently, but also welcomed new opportunities. more to come…

am on the road, my car going well, but my cargo’s swell. Driving in zig zags up and down the country. York, southend, folkestone, gloucester… Gigs going well. Possible chance at doing a cruise ship coming in – now i’ve said before it’d be easier to perform on a cruise missile, but hey, it’s a challenge. Swearing is the thing…

what’s this morbid desire to avoid swearing ? i mean, i wouldn’t mind it if there weren’t this double standard going on. E.g. one booker, up north, decides ‘i’m not for him’ anymore, and i know the reason…. I swore like a trooper in my last gig for him. well, i’ve got a bad memory, why didn’t he remind me again before bringing me on, that it was a ‘clean’ gig???!!!!

anyway the gig didn’t actually go that badly though i noticed a slough of older, miserable faces in the back of the room (it was a golf club). that was last year. cut to this year and and i ask him if he’d book me again. he gave the answer above, and then said, to round off his text message, the words ‘ Look you’. What ? did he really take the piss out of my welsh-ness by evoking an archaic cliche that nobody ever says or has ever said in Wales?! this is the thing: doing that, i.e. taking the piss out of someone’s accent, like that – he’s not my mate is he ?? – is more offensive than swearing. Or that’s my opinion. But perhaps he felt that I . by swearing in his gig, showed nothing but contempt for his game. To add insult to insult, on the night of the gig, the ‘secretary’ of the golf club, a woman, (she might have had another job title) went on stage and named the middle act as the best of the night. That’s just not done. Then, she came over to where we were sitting and offered us a drink and I, in my mischievous semi-stoned state (in fact i almost ran on stage when she nominated a winner, but wisely had second thoughts), I responded by asking if she was sure in her offering as she didn’t think i was the best act…..”In the valley look you, etc etc” – that’s the rubbish that came out of her mouth. Again, tore offensive than saying ‘fuck’. She don’t know me, i’m a comedian ok, but offstage, and a guest in her club.

The one thing that redeemed that experience was , as i exited, a lady coming to the door and letting me know that i was really funny.

Then there’s another booker, who was booking me regular up until lockdown, informed me the other day – after i asked him, finally – that he thought i wasn’t good enough based on the last few gigs i did for him/her. Fair enough. or is it? They were xmas gigs – a traditional sewer for the cunts who work 9 to 5 in office jobs to come to expel their frustration at their sad unfunny lives. Do they really want to watch comedy ? Who knows. all i know is the parameters for xmas gigs and ‘normal’ gigs are different. Yes i admit they hated me. and they didn’t seem to hate other acts. Ok, I’m crap at those horrible, unfocussed, tacky night club high stage festive fiascos. from now on i will avoid them.

Ups and downs, zigs and zags…the weekly life of a stand up.

Talking about crappy welsh accents. I was disappointed by Tom Hardy’s in the Lock. also, a welsh character, a proper welsh one, would never have just smiled without comment when a mate tells him, over the phone, that he is the best man in England, “No butt, i’m the best man in Wales” – that’s what the scriptwriter, or Tom himself, should have inserted. Still, i’m looking forward to the sequel: Lock II, Lock You.

I tell you another example of hypocrisy in this comedy lark. They don’t want swearing – this is particularly the cruise and old school comedy scene – but they’re quite happy to hear racial related jokes (or maybe this has changed by now – it were true until recently)…Then, in some clubs – and i know this can happen on cruise ships – you’ll have an act at the back of the room during another comedian’s turn, writing notes, in other words: nicking jokes. The management don’t give a shit. indeed they can’t get it into their mind frame the concept that the comedian is a writer and a creator of literature as well as being a performer. Well, some comedians are, the proper ones in my books. On the other hand, some comedians are just empty vessels, channelling things they’ve heard.

my new second hand car is going great. but i was a bit worried after i put diesel in it. it s a fiat panda, cost me £1150. italian cars are meant to be noisy anyway. i thought maybe i fucked the engine up, but after putting 6 pounds of diesel i put in 20 pounds of petrol….dilute dilute dilute.

romty tom tom…went down to Barry to check out a new venue. could be a great comedy club. saw a documentary on S4C about Hywel Gwynfryn at 80. Aaaaaaaaaa…..there is now a welsh language version of Gogglebox, called Gogglebocs. It would be quite realistic if, when the camera cuts to the sofas, there’s no one there. I can’t stand programmes that feed off other programmes, it’s like that band name Pop will Eat Itself, that’s what tv is doing. what’d be interesting is if an episode of Goglebox shows people watching an episode of Goglebox featuring themselves.

Been so cold and frosty of late , thank goodness i got my long johns -i’m like Gabby Hayes about the place.

I bought a new car by the way , what a grown up thing to do. well it’s always risky buying an ew car, and i paid more for it than i have for previous second hands. over a grand. But it seems to go well, it’s a Fiat Panda. Only problem is , and i don’t know what came over me, i accidentally put some diesel into its petrol tank. still, that was almost a month ago, and the engine’s still going albeit noticeably louder. Yes i know i should ring a mechanic, but there is another school of thought that is: keep driving it, and adding petrol until all the diesel is washed out.