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dmt

/ noeljames1

got hold of a dmt vape…but it don’t really do much, though i can feel the effect, the head spinning. perhaps if i had 6 puffs more would happen. i want to go on an awaywaska retreat, hopefully soon. i also would like to attend an expressive art therapy class…and of course go to see jesse james’ house in usa. oh shit, how am i gonna tell eleri all this ? well, i kind of have told her. she got very upset last weekend, the main thrust of her upset being a boss at work, it was bringing out all her insecurities. i said can;t you bring out your securities instead, so ‘s i can cash them ?? mad laughter.

Quit

soil

/ noeljames1

that’s what soil is , is it, decomposed organic matter.

When i die i don’t care what happens. why woudl i? i don’t care if there’s a funeral. maybe i don’t want one.

not sure if i mentioned this b4, but last year it was, up in teh grounds of Craig y Nos…an older couple, english, living in swansea. they were talking shit. they mentioned their neighbour, a welsh woman, who’d died. they’d been to her funeral and it was all in welsh, they moaned about it. i almost said something. i mean, people complaining about the language is a common thing, but people complaining about someone’s funeral being in welsh !!! I never heard that b4. the woman lived her life in wales, largely in welsh. these cunts are moaning cos they can’t understand what’s being said. yes, but it’s her funeral. No no we expect people to conform to the english language, of course you do malcolm. dont get me wrong, if there’s a way of getting headphones with translation i’m all for it, butt his woman probably never even had such a thought, a simple working class pleb.

anyway we all will confomr b4 too long. how many years have we got left as welsh speaking society ? accodring to census figures i saw the otehr day we;re down to 14 % of the pop of wales …it was 20 percent not so long ago, – there go those typos again, the trouble i got is with the typing keyboard, basically, i can’t type. i have tried, god knows, over the years….ideally i ‘d like 2 b able to touch type.

looks like Cu mumbles is struggling – had to pull another comedy gig there.

never

/ noeljames1

have i seen the lawns look so greeeeeeen, the weather has been scorching of late, but then again i’m not to blame, a victim of the rain. Marauders have stolen my land, my language, and they will have my soul if they think they can get it. Georgio Marauder. what is life but a pitiless, pointless exercise. The gigs i thought i had , that filled my diary like flowers in the park, now no more.

What to do? recount things i guess….but what seemed important yesterday now has faded. the back of mind has so many memories, memories with their backs against the wall. I came across a large teddy bear, i mean big, bigger than an eight year old. Not that i keep eight year olds in my shed as height gauges. But of wouldn’t that be jolly…

It was in new condition but a bit wet from the drizzle. so i grabbed it and took it home, and dried it on the washing line. EBAY!

Benn practising my guitar, scales n shit. worked out the chords to Louie Louie – the kingsmen version of this song is great, a bit kooky, all over the place and yet comes together. The lyrics of the song caused a furore in its day. but the truth is the singer sings it such that you can’t work out what he’s saying. the song is the viewpoint of a sailor, going home to Jamaica to see his love again, he ‘s talking to a bloke ,Louie, about it. Instead of saying ‘ I’ he says ‘Me’ like they do over there. Me said a ship across the sea…it’s magical. But in the conservative early 60s , even if they couldn’t hear the words, some people took offence anyway. the tone of the song is probably what upset them it’s muddy, it’s electric, it’s a dirty mix. Ironically, the bit of the recording that is actually rude was never noticed – the drummer shouts ‘fuck’ about a third of the way through. you can clearly hear him, even on the youtube. well, you can hear him shout something, faintly. but they got it on the track.

Anyway, i realised it’s a stepping stone, i mean musically it’s so simple, but also has a minor chord which makes it different . the rhythm is derived from cuba. How i wish i’d gone to see the Bueno Vista Social Club when it was around – could have played some bingo (when you win you shout commune). It’s a great song.

Chess. getting better at it i think. still quite boring a lot of the time, i mean, once you’ve had your queen pinched it’s like an uphill battle. but that’s what the endgame is all about. It’s important, according to Jeff, to play out the endgames. to be able to play them out. what is this? chess or the marvel universe ?

Inferiority – i’m not saying it’s a complex, but it’s there, a feeling, sometimes. maybe there’s a place where i wouldn’t feel it, maybe there’s a workshop, or a therapy out there that will help. Maybe i should get a keyboard for my laptop arranged vertically, who knows what, if any, solution there is. to be had. i saw Lucas, and stayed over night. watched an absolutely brilliant film called Miss Violence. Greek. It was a slice of life, the european film makers do this better than US. the unfurling of events before your eyes, gradually and realistically. without giving anything away, without any contrived plot points, the horror of a situation hits you – like a diary. Not really a story as such. a bit like that Rumanian film about the woman , during communism, who wanted an abortion. A gruelling unfurling of events, over a few weeks.

If an inferiority complex was simple it wouln t be called a complex. excuse my spelling, but i can t b botehred going back anymore, to correct the erros, it’s too much hassle. warts and all it is.

i once did a show in a pub in carnarvon called the ship and castle, but locals called it the shit and hassle.

got a glass of something thrown over me in that pub. the woman who did it did on teh way out, as she walked past the stage. she hadn’t likes me referring to her and her friend as two fat slags. but it was more implied, i mean i never said outright you are the 2 FS. (they were on the large side, and the 2FS are comic characters, i thought they’d laugh). this is the problem with a comedy gig in a pub, with no entry fee, and with no allocated space.

So long ago. and now i’m writing crap. trying to forge something, been thinking about rejigging this website, drooping certain pages, ( or dropping even) changing them into something else. i need a place where i can attempt to construct a script or a book or or

+++++++++++++++p/

like a character voice instead of my voice…

what else happened ? been digging up the turf on teh front. it’s actually organic degraded matter from grass and weeds, built up over the years. it looks like it was put there deliberately, but no, it’s built up on top of the flat stones underneath. the bloke who lived here before, eleri’s father, was a good gardener, and made a rock garden out front.

i actually do have a gig this saturday, in or near kidderminster.

i said she’s

/ noeljames1

driving on the one after nine oh nine…

had some welsh cakes…but they seem like a dream now. met my old history teacher, bumped in to me him i should say, in the market. He gave me his number, i arranged to go watch some jazz with him in the welsh college of music and drama,,,,i got there on a friday afternoon, and couldn’t find him, tried calling but no response. i didn’t feel like listening to it by myself. i waited for his call back, but it never happened. so i boarded the train back to swansea. Heard later that he hadn’t taken his phone but left it on charge. Oh yes i see…so he was actually there, so i must have missed him. said he’d been looking out for me. just one of those things, still it’s a good idea to bring your phone – that’s why they call them ‘mobile’.

A bit of a disaster, like my 7-11 shop that opened at 9am instead of 7. So many regrets flushed out of my system. what am i doing ? i met a woman who is turning in to a fish, she has scales all along her arm.

Lost my phone for a week, now got the original number back. not after tesco faffed around. i mean not before. yes i’ve got a tesco account. hired a car the other week, and took eleri up to chester. we had a nice time. i think, walked around the city wall, went for a french meal, very nice.

Clwb SANCler

/ noeljames1

had some comedy ideas in my head, kept meaning to write them down , now one of them’s gone into the ether.

DID a really great show in Ivy Bush hotel, Carmarthen, with the players and supporters of San Cler RFC. Delme Thomas in the audience. everyone smart in blazers and ties, the meal was pretty good and it was good company, with Gwyndaf the organiser being a bachan da. He gave me a tie. I never promise to mention members of the audience in such a gig, but as it turned out i went around the room a bit, and threw in improvised bits within my routines, -mind you that was to some extent necessitated by the lack of reaction to some of my jokes – it went swimmingly, there was one bit where i mention my gfriend, who smokes 100 cigs a day and as a result speaks with a constant horse voice, – suddenly people in the audience cheer and point out a chap in the middle of the room. i go over to him and turns out he speaks just like this, – apparently he’s had so many choke holds done on him in the course of the game that his voice has reacted badly. My friend Mel came along to the gig. She ‘s very young for someone who’s sixty – oh wait, i’m 59! fuckin hell, no wonder older people start saying age is just a number, because it’s better to forget that age is also mental and physical deterioration.

I keep meaning to write a note to my brother, to ask him if i can come live and work in one of his sheds. need to make a film b4 i die.

Sadly, on the same night as my sancler rfc gig i’d had show marked in for Cu Mumbles, but we had to pull it due to lack of ticket sales. The show was meant to feature Sandro And Simon, the problematic pub boys – thought it would do well ticket wise, they made a promo video for it and all. But no, no joy, maybe cos there was a fuckin festival in margam park on that weekend. who knows.