John Perrot, a neighbour, he’s about 80 now, he’s in morriston hospital, i went up to see him yesterday. been in for 4 weeks, and still a bit confused. he had a fall in Primark in town…hit his head, was unconscious…had a bleed on the brain. Looks like he’s getting better now, but it must be killing him to just have to sit there in the ward – he’s a worrier, and he’s a walker. he likes to get out and about, get things done. i took some welsh language books up. He’s a linguist can speak about 4 languages. I envy people who can speak lots of languages, i mean they have access to so much more bullshit than i.

read some Dostoyevsky – the first 2 syllables, the Dos and the Toy, only 2 syllables to go! No seriously i read The Demons, also known as the Possessed. it was surprisingly easy to get through and a great read. Death, murder and revolt everywhere you turn. also read some great short stories by Kafka, nothing like his more well known claustrophobic sgit.

had to have yet another blood test, this time related to me prostate. The nurse was extremely grumpy. but hey maybe she’s done a thousand pricks already. So i’ve not been feeling right the last few weeks. my bladder’s playing up. i am peeing a lot in the night. or i love scrabble…have to get up in the night for a pee. My stomach hurts a bit, i thought it could be an infection but not according to the previous blood test.

Been thinking of prop gags and ordering various bits off the internet:…teeth, glasses, etc. i will need to buy a hard case for my guitar.

Tonight i am doubling: got a gig in Blackwood for Andy Rut, then driving back to Mumbles – if my car can handle it.

Met Collins for a milkshake, he explained his plan for the neath comedy festival. he’s off to the Hay festival 2morow…

My car is totally on its last legs, or last wheels. last week the mechanic in morriston pointed out to me the rust in the rear axle, it’s almost eaten through it entirely. but at the same time i should be able to keep it going for another week or so, until MOT runs out, wish i had a Gilburn, or an Aston or a jensen interceptor. It’s a bit scary, but more than that it’s annoying – that car cost me a thousand pounds less than 2 years ago – doesn’t sound a huge amount but it’s cost me at least that in repairs since. But then it is an 18 yr old car. The bloke who sold it to me genuinely, i think, thought it was a good quality car, but the rust and corrosion is chronic, according to the mechanic Fiat Pandas are know for it. Oh the glamour. Still, it will be good for me, and cheaper, to go on train and bus for a while. Have finally had a date come through for speeding related court case. it will be in Warwick court in november, i will be lucky if i get to keep my license. Not becasue i think i deserve a ban, but just because i know how these things go. In fact i think it’s ridiculous to get banned from driving for having 12 points if you’ve nit been drinking or you’re just over the limit…

I have always bought second hand cars, some of the cheaper ones were the best. the worst car i ever had was my first official one, which my dad persuaded me to buy, a second hand Austin Maestro, which cost £3000 in 1990/91. The exhaust blew up a couple of times on that, and yes it was exhausting.

I will be off soon on a cruise, the less said the better…

i think the date is wrong on the titles above – it’s sunday may 12th, but i ..what are you sayinnngg?

Finally got a new laptop. my old one – well it wasn’t that old – got water damaged, and is knackered. unfixable. so i had to bit the bullet…and now i’ve got lead poisoning

more about the Barmouth gig. it was terrific. i really should drive to gigs without getting stoned more often. but then eleri came with me and we spent two days in a small air b&b…there was no second b, why don’t they call them airbs?? we spent a third night in a hotel criccieth. damo the weather was pretty good. when we woke up on the sunday morning the light through the hotel room window, falling in eleri, i wish i’d had time to paint that image. i wish i knew how to paint.

The criccieth gig was also very good. but less people than barmouth, and a much much bigger venue, with a high stage and ceiling- luckily i wasn’t performing on the ceiling….what? am i Lionel Richie?

Twm Morys came along, and it was great to see him. he popped in to the dressing room at half time in order to give me words of encouragement. Cos it’s easy to think nobody finds you funny, but in a huge room like that the positive response are still there but lost in space. we also went for a pint later on, and eleri joined us. it was cool, talking old welsh stuff, and about the brythonig, the bretons and the gododdin. I must write an englyn soon, try get it into Barddas, Twm’s magazine..well, he’s the editor.

Y trwbwl gyda editors yw ma nhw’n torri popeth…

also, in the front row, was a woman i recognised from the pub earlier where eleri and i had had lunch. i tried cracking a stupid joke offstage to her re the meal we’d had – because of hilarious doings involving a delay on the new potatoes and veg – and i dug a hole for myself. But later she and her three friends were sitting down the front. turns out that one of them was her sister, and i asked her name. she said ‘Ayesha’…get out of here . so i said she looked haggard, not sure if she got that but she laughed and they were all up for a laugh. especially Ayesha, she who must be obeyed….

Today is sunday, 12th may. went kayaking in the local canal, the first of the year. and on my own, as E’s got a problem with her arm.

I got my new dentures about 2 weeks ago. after all these months…they don’t feel uncomfortable bit they don’t feel comfortable either. i will wear them but can’t envisage wearing them all the time. even eating seems easier with out them. and though i thought they ‘d make speaking easier, in fact i have got used to this inch wide gap in my lower gums. have focussed on it for so long i think my mouth is compensating in it’s movements…i need some motif, said the dentist.

I did a gig yesterday, and the bloke who’s birthday it was in aid of said to me that he’d been reading these blogs. ( I mean ‘these’ blogs here on my website). the intrigue of blogs is just a fun thing – and so here’s a big shout out to Andy Rae…hope you get your ‘personal problems’ sorted out…and i appreciate the barbecued burgers and chicken…that roast was the best!

smiley face.

drove 4 and a half hours to get to that thirsk gig. but have been to the town before when i played the Rural Arts centre. The gig was upstairs in a pub, a small square room. i kind of did it in the round.

The gig on friday was absolutely great. southern down golf club. have managed to get past that barrier – a mental one it seems – of not appealing to the older generation. maybe because i myself have joined their ranks (?). the reasons are maybe just down to practise. but not only did i – anyway bla bla …chris jones. former S$C weather man was there – he’d been judging an amateur version of BGT, which happened immediately before my spot…so i referred to him as Simon PorthCowell. duuuwww even Montezuma wasn’t that quick.

how to do stand up comedy show in 7 weeks….not that ‘s not a question. but a statement of instruction…ond day the rest of the instructions will appear.

let me tell u, i had a great time watching and compering the new acts of my ,or should isay , aaaaaahhhhh

well, it’s better to be stoned than jaded.

did a gig in criccieth, and one in bermo. what a great experience.

the showcase – or should i say – first ever gig for students of noel’s comedy course…happened. it went great. i compered and had to work hard to convince the crowd that i had funny things to show the, though the acts had no such obstacles. all the acts were interesting. a variety of styles….a pinch of da da with a satire dessert. they say that life is a bowl of cherries. bowl of porridge more like…

‘ere as he ad his oats yet ?

or a dessert of some kind…..

I couldn’t believe it when a lady in the front row said ‘benny hill’ in response to one of my gags – jeez, i thought it was the comedian who was meant to be picking on the audience not the other way round – well, what i could do on hearing such a slur ?! i immediately went over to her and started slapping the back of her head in a patronising way.

was shocked to hear about the passing of Alan Seaman. Comedy promoter and all round nice guy from the midlands. I am doing his gig this Saturday, for which he booked me ages ago. i only found out the sad news in the group chat for the gig on FB.

ON thursday night i finally found a film that i knew i wanted to watch but couldn’t remember it’s name. Its was Demonoid, Messenger of Death. Not a masterpiece, but still a romp, with unpredictable events. whatever happened to Samantha Eggar? it oozed imagination.

Gig in Vale of Glamorgan brewery went well. If a little feisty. only a small group of men as audience, like a corporate, but with comedy club fees. Thought initially it was going to be chaotic, but to be fair the lads were up for it. Aled R and Steffan E did a grand job.

my Titanic went down well, did a whole weekend, got through this to me new experience. Talk about immersive experience, it doesn’t get anymore immersive than the Titanic. i like the people who i perform with, and i like the vibe of just doing the show. even being sat in the back of a van for 5 hours is tolerbale in their company. The Histoire company!

My stand up students in Abergavenny are doing very well. They have all actually created a comedy set. Amazing progress has happened since I started the course end of January.

i am currently learning a script for a dining experience – a couple of weekends coming up in april, so i got to get this 30 odd pages down. Learning scripts i always find tricky, but always a good reason for going for a meditative walk in the countryside. The theme is the Titanic, and i will be playing Captain Smith. James Cameron it is not, bit it will definitely be a different experience…acting rather than stand-up comedy. There’s no need for me to get ever wrod perfect, i mean word, because the nature of a dining experience means it’s potentially going to be interrupted by the audience or by the events of the night e.g. starters and main course are served. People might be drunk, might ask questions etc. What will be new for me is travelling in a van with the other actors. The anguish of attachment disorder lies agape.