folic acid. what the ?? – so i says to the bloke my confidence is shaken. I got to switch my diet, really, give up bread and everything else that tastes nice. give up the milkshakes, the cakes, the biscuits. Cos the doctors said 2 things: statins and folic acid. i go in to collect the folic acid, and it’s not there, what have we come to ?

blood test result, and a letter from the doctor saying i’d better go on statins. No! I must find a different way. diet, exercise. and i got a headache as i speak, am i about to have a stroke ?? living on a precipice.

am reading Arthur Miller’s autobiog, basically a history of the 20 th century. fascinating stuff.

waondering, wondering why Wandering. wondering why people bother being on social media, they don’t communicate. i’m coming off it. or am i? it’s not a good day, i need to take my pills. today i go for a chest x ray in singleton hospital.

hours of a new day….the darkness getting gradually lighter. I struggle to see the point of working. A bit like Wh.Davies i am a supertramp. But one who does his tramping in the mind. What or why do i write here? to record what i am reading right now ? to record what film i have seen? did some dog sitting the other day, in Jeanie’s house- it was cold, i tried lighting the fire. as i struggled with the kindle – i was about to say kinder – i recalled the old days, my mother lighting a fire in the ‘boys’ room, – our name for the living room – and how time seemed to stand still, as i watched the smoke, the little sparks, the bare bones of wood, stuffed with paper. Yes time comes to a stand still as you wait for the fire to start.

I got the fire going, the paper and the wood burnt alright, but the coal – forget it!

My brilliant career – is that an ironic title?

been reading The Code of The Woosters, by PG Wodehouse. Makes you wanna shout ‘I say!’ a hundred times till Stephen Fry comes down to see whas going on, nah seriously i never was into this dry shit, but this book is pretty funny in places. i can finally see. it was serendipity, for i attended anna’s belated birthday do at Cineamandco (boo hiss) last week, and there it was on the shelf. yes i nicked it i admit it, but will be taking it back…only a few weeks previous i had read some article by another writer, a contemporary one of the Ian McEwan kind – and in it he commented how he couldn’t stop laughing at the Code of the Woosters. You say you should never judge a book by its cover, but, once, i judged a book by its meaningful content…and wished i’d stayed with the cover.

who? who ? what ???