being fucked over by a fellow- well, alleged- comedian i see no future for me with in the world of live comedy. it’s a mess, and anyway i have done everything i wanted to do. i have proven to myself that my father was wrong for a start, that i can make a living from my comedic talent.

so now i’ll go onto something else, why stay in a nest of vipers any longer?

And the boys from the problematic pub podcast have taken over the helm so to speak. they have become successful through their podcast, and, remarkably, have done that without leaving wales.

I get one gig after another pulled this year. Mirth control pulled the Jersey weekend, and don’t seem very keen to get me any replacement gigs. Poor Jon Keys of Paramount comedy has had a mini stroke. Jeez,,,have we reached a cross roads? A rubicon. (mind you someone form his company could have informed me that the Cornwall shows had been cancelled 😦

Had a weekend of gigs in Jersey cancelled in March – it’s enough to drive you to crime, rob a bank,

apart from these (usual) disappointments there’s other bookers out there – who i won’t name – who seem to enjoy breaking the hearts of people like myself, but of course they’ll never succeed in actually doing that. Not in my case. But what a strange business, the work you get depends not on any organised system, nor indeed on merit, but on some random whim and fancy on the part of a club owner. Half of them make decisions based on hearsay i.e. they weren’t actually present at your performance. They one day decide you’re not funny, that they don’t like you. In my case that’s compounded by the fact that a group of people, some of whom i’ve never met, decided to act like fascists, and accused me of shit. Where’s the honour in that ? where’s the community? shove it up your arse.

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MY friend on facebook is often posting videos of herself, crying a lot of the time. it makes me sad. But then it also makes me sad that i can never cry, even though i do feel some repressed grief inside.