friday 27th feb. i am doing a gig tonight in salisbury, 2moro i will b in plymouth (for a mirth control gig which had already cancelled a couple of times), i got myself a nice nippy hire car, a peugeot 308. well i looked at different hotels, and picked one up for 50 quid. the plymouth gig will be a free hotel. i decided not to go the usual route to salisbury i.e. down through Bath and on to warminster….it’s a bendy road and always a lot of traffic by Bath. so i drove onto j15 on the M4 and took the road south towards marlbrough and thence salisbury. but wouldn’t you know it there was a road block in place and diversion from marlborough onwards. i knew the journey would be a little longer but for fucks sake, the one time i have ever been on this route and that’s what happens. and i fee like a victim of fate, i always do in this situation, the stress of being stuck in the car pisses me off you see. but one can’t allow such trivial things to bring a dark cloud down. anyway i got to see some of the marvellous green plains.
last week of feb 2026, and i have bad toothache. it fluctuates. so could it be , as eleri said, the sinusues rather than the teeth themselves?? anyway i have managed to get an appt with dentist tomorrow afternoon
more cancelled gigs, mirthcontrol is certainly controlling the amount of mirth i get to do – was meant to go to plymouth this Sat, but looks like it ‘s not happening. did a couple of excellent gigs last weekend though. see below. Wales’s rugby team is officially crap. but the weird thing is – i did a tweet on X about the terrible wales rugby logo, the prince of wales 3 feathers – and for some reason this tweet has gone crazy, with almost 10000views, and 40 likes, and loads of retweets…i must have hit a nerve, i mean my average no of views is about 30!
am reading the hunchback of notre dame, it’s excellent. also Gore Vidal’s autobiography which is very erudite. am currently on a book binge. went to cardiff a couple of days ago and saw sam raimi’s Send Help. it was pretty good, but again some bits towards the end didn’t make sense. but logically i guess it didn’t make too much difference. i liked the tension building up in the film between the two main characters. a comedy horror thriller….or just a modern kind of story…a moral tale.
early february – oh alright godamit i’ll do some vlogging then, i mean blogging…i mean hogging the scene. I had a good weekend last week, went up to billy’s on the thursday, late. because i had a gig on the Friday in darlington. – well a nearby village called Sandberge, which is near Great Burden – the gig went excellent, despite it being a male only audience. also i picked up a gig, last minute, for the saturday, also in darlington. what a darling town. Gig for neil jollie it was, who i haven’t worked for in ages. then on the sunday afternoon, on my way back down from bircotes, i called in leicester, a pub the henry the third, in order to take part in the punoff contest, and this was under the umbrella of the Leicester comedy festival. it was great fun, then after i drove back to eleri’s (some call it home). oh by the way i came second in the pun off, and found myself sitting next to a welsh bloke, from port talbot, called Stuart. my influence must have rubbed off as he won. Met Iain mc donald for the first time in the flesh, he was on a bender having been pulled over by the coppers the previous night for no reason. so i bought him a pint, and also saw the great Massai around the place. he is one of the best joke smiths around. On the saturday night gig in darlington i was on first, but it went really well. there were a couple of lovely moments with the audience, like the three bald men to stage left, i said it’s like Freds Reunited. and then, later in the set, a bloke down the front finally told me where he was from, but he didn’t want to talk about it…Rugby. i agreed, no i don’t want to talk about rugby – Wales had been massacred that day by England ( i hadn’t even seen the match but i didn’t have to, the team is in one of it’s regular shit pits). When are the WRU going to get rid of it’s Prince of Wales insignia the three white feathers? what imperialistic bullshit that is. anyway, it was a really funny moment…as was his choice of Jane Russell as a favourite actor.
On the thursday night before, that is the night i drove up to Billy’s, I called in with my brother, tried to locate his farm Cribau Mill north of Newport. But i’d never done it in the dark before. i was driving a big car, a hire car that enterprise had kindly let me have instead of the van i’d put on the booking form. it was actually a grade above my usual choice, and probably heavier on the petrol, but was the perfect car for the horrendous rain this night. While it was a big car, and – i can’t recall the model name, they all look the same these days – looked as though it could be 4 by 4, it wasn’t 4 by 4. This i found out to my chagrin. As i drove up the narrow, very narrow, road to my brother’s house (or general vicinity) i started getting annoyed at the remoteness of his location. luckily any oncoming traffic i met pulled aside for me. after a while i hit the tony hamlet, but took the wrong turning, all these roads look the same, especially in the dark, no street lamps, no houses, no people to ask. My brother lives on a country road called Cwm, so i put Cwm in my car’s sat nav. It took me up another narrow road, i eventually came to a cattle gird, which told me i was definitely in the wrong place. phoned my brother and hit a second frustration: the mobile signal goes in and out here. Then i attempted turn around, i risked driving off the tarmac and into the flat grass of the surrounding greenery. car got stuck, wheels started spinning around. the rain kept coming down, but i had to get out of the car, tried putting stones and wood under the front wheels. but both front and rear wheels were digging themselves deeper in the grass cum mud. I imagined my brother appearing like a shining armour, i thought ‘let’s make it happen’. i could tell him where i was because there was a house, and a sign with a name on it: Penhein House. Through broken voice messages and texts i communicated this to him, and he said he’d be here in ten, well, i knew i could count on him,,,didn’t he tell me a few years ago that he loves me ?? Sure enough, out of the dark came some headlights, my brother…was he in his tractor? No something much whackier, indeed like a car from the Whacky Races, a small flatbed truck, like a military version of a smart car, with 4 by 4 (i hoped). can i be bothered telling the rest of the story ? can i type without making mistakes? is the pope a catholic? is the pope a protestant ? is the pope a buddhist ? a muslim? a zoroastrian? why have all the formats changed ? the format on this page i am wrting on has become smaller and neater, and now it seems to allow editing for longer times. i have big problems when typing with certain words.’the’ is a headache as i usually type it as ‘teh’…i don’t know if i should get a more ergonomic, customised keyboard…maybe ? i guess there are different processes going on when one types…the spelling process for example. anyway my brother took the car’s steering wheel for a bit while i tried to push from behind, nothing doing. which disappointed me on many levels, after all i won a contest back in university for puing a car a certain a distance in the shortest time – and how could i forget that time in 2019 when i helped push a car on the Baran mountain whichad got stuck in the mud , i put my back into it that day and got it out. he ‘s talkin advice: keep the wheel straight. ok ok. then he gets in his cab again where Juno the australian mongrel is sat in the passenger seat, and – oh i forgot to say, he’d already got some ropes form the flat bed and tied them between hi tow hook and the rear suspension arm on my car – shit i hoped the bumper wouldn’t come off in the process of it being tugged. i guess this arm was the safest place to tie a rope. i got in my car again and put it in reverse, yes he was pulling me from behind….but it didn’t work…the rop broke.
my health is going thru a bad phase. a weird phase. but today i woke up and my chest seemed a bit better, and my breathing a little easier. but it’s like driving a car that’s over heating…you see the temp gauge going up up into the red, then suddenly there’s a bang, only a faint bang, somewhere within the car, and with it the temp falls to zero. You think maybe everything’s alright now cos the temperature has dropped. But in fact the engine is now fucked because there’s been a small explosion in the engine and as a result a hole IN The HOSE, in the rubber pipe that holds the colling water. the only reason temperature’s gone to zero is because the entire measuring system is fucked.
Finally got paid my £48 for the Wrexham gig, which means i made a profit of 8 quid, hurrahhhh
jan 21st
first Titanic performance of the year coming up on saturday in bridgend. My breathing is better than it was a few moths ago, but there’s still something not quite right. may need to book a private clinic, get it sorted. my GP wants to do an x ray again, and a blood test again – but i had these done last year and they both came out clear. I heard an amazing thing today, if u have seen The Straight Story, a film dir by Lynch, you will know the lead actor was an old guy, turns out his name is Richard Farnsworth – he was riddled with cancer when he did that film, and he died the year after it came out, but he never told anybody that he was ill, not even his family. he apparently took what’s know as the stunt man’s way out – brave as fuck….he was a stuntman in his early days. the film is good, and is Lynch’s most conventional story, with the elephant coming in second. Most his film are off in never never land and i find their abstract storylines annoying as hell. went to see Alladin, adult panto, in Gwyn Hall with eleri a couple of weeks ago. it was not really sexual innunedo as in your face cock and sex jokes…but still it was a well done, professional show. Jack, the man from enterprise cars was in it and was the reason why we went, he was great. Probably a better production than the Grand Theatre, even though the stage and venue are smaller. Lots of funny prop gags, great singing voices. then , last weekend, we went away for 2 nights to Mold. Experienced the OK Diner in Flintshire. the burger and poutine fries were excellent. the shakes were lovely, the price was not cheap but we enjoyed. though my fuckin heartburn was set off again, it’s becoming more common, with belching – this is another reason why i got to get it checked out – we also had brekkie there on the sunday, nice. we visited Holywell, i’d been there once b4 with pauline back in 2008/9. a simple church with a well. I paid £3 each to get in and eleri still put a quid in the charity box! fooool…. we went to chester where we managed to have a row about the multi storey parking ticket – should it be left on the dash or not. the more anal the row the better. Trump’s gone off his trolley regarding Greenland. i am busy writing some jokes for up coming Pun contest. amongst which are some Trump jokes. we would have gone to see the Clive collection at Powis Castle but it’s raining all day, and i got a 3 and half hour drive back to ynysforgan. and i’m lazy…or just dying…
January 2025.
the year has started and is already speeding away. bug fuck up (and big for that matter)on the gig front to start the year. Plymouth gig this wednesday didn’t happen for the agent who booked me has been taken off the gig – they claimed to have sent me notification of this but they actually didn’t. they are the worst. Second gig at the middle of the month has been pulled due to lack of ticket sales. don’t expect this year to be a financially credible one. the ‘community’ that is the comedy circuit doesn’t really care. still, i keep flogging things on ebay, ok only gradually but it all builds up. John Collins is planning a few gigs in swansea including one with john hegley. Had another breathing test in clydach clinic, this time i managed to get all the breaths consistent, and by the end the nurse was able to say that i do not suffer from COPD – pulmomary lung disease – well i was so happy i went hope and smoked a joint! My copy of the Hands of Orlac came thru the post – i have read 100 pages straight away…i need reading matter to keep me from getting bored.
what a tough year it’s been, in terms of getting work. no doubt my career slump is here to stay, thanks to many factors, one of whom being that liar and thief who shall remain hideous. (also the rejection by cruise ship company still irks). BUT , considering all that, i have managed to fill the year with highlights and variety, despite a lack of offers from the nice kind comedy promoters, i made a short film and got paid decent wage for it, i did some interesting gigs including one on Isle of Man, another in a church in peterborough. Got a couple of gigs off the legendary Agraman (of Buzz comedy), and off Yes Cymru. Outside stand up i got to play Scrooge as well as Marley in Christmas Carol dining experience, and of course the captain in Titanic. The year started with a booking from Barnstormers in Howden which i sadly had to pull out of due to it being a double booking…but finally managed to do that gig at the beginning of this month, December. it felt like a full circle. I also got to spend a pleasant week in my friend’s apt in Stockholm in June, which may be perhaps be the last time i ever see her – her health is dwindling fast it seems. This year saw a few examples of insincerity, broken promises and two facedness (if that is a word) from certain people – it comes as no surprise anymore, this circuit is broken, decadent and spoilt, full of cliques and machoism, people out to break hearts. One particular upsetting incident was my dealing with a welsh promoter, and the fact that a welsh language gig (which was my idea) didn’t come to me in the end. long story. Mind you, if i relied on promoters in wales to champion my comedy i’d be destitute. The names Jeremy and Henry say it all… Early in the year i was accepting welsh language gigs with trivial payments from Gareth Richards, who organised a couple of tributes to the late great Dewi Pws Morris, then, in March i offered my services cheap – for £50 – to Pontardawe community who were organising a show to raise money for the Urdd – they didn’t want me, perhaps they would have if i’d charged zero…? In the middle of the year i tried setting up a gig in Ty Pawb thinking the crowds from Wrexham eisteddfod would pile in – which is what happened a few years ago in Tregaron – but no, i got 4 people, and still have not been paid for those seats sold thus far….
Hvae spent more time of late staying at Billy’s. he had been seriously ill for a few days in hospital, but was bak on form when i saw him a couple of weeks ago, he accompanied on the bill at Howden.
Histoire also stage a production known as Overlook, which is a dining experience version of The Shining…emily has let me have the script to look at.
Have done some great Scrooge shows with Histoire company these last few weeks. down in bournemouth – where the pier pressure was tangible – emily and i had to do all 3 characters just the 2 of us. i had to fill in for scrooge. luckily i had been going over the script so i knew i could manage it just about. the actual scrooge actor had let emily down on that morning. she was amazing, in her determination to give the audience a show. we did it, but of course it was very rough around the edges. the food we had at the venue – which is a rest’rant – was delicious, sea bass yummy. next day we drove up to somewhere in sussex, but picked up Dan Moses on route, he is yet another scrooge ( i switched to marley for the last 2 shows of this weekend), and we delivered two blinders, two excellent shows on sat and sunday, the audience. on sunday we were in the very pretty town of Blandford Forum, in the afternoon. it went brilliant. More and more adlibs creep into the script, since emily wants it to be comedic, and rather than do pre-scripted jokes i’d much rather improvise. i guess the show length tends to increase a bit because of that. but the immersive element of the show also deepens, with audience interaction getting more frequent. On the sunday just gone i was up in Burnley, in a 5 star hotel/spa called Crow Wood, and there on the monday morning i had a dip in the pool, they even had a Bentley on offer to shuttle guests from the hotel to the nearby leisure centre! I have been busy thinking of other ideas for Histoire, but apparently the boss is not keen on comedy for the rest of the year.
the BBC turned down my documentary idea, what a surprise…too old? too welsh? who knows. they were rather disingenuous in the email they sent to me, saying something about not being allowed to use the Ppub podcast, which is something i never even proposed doing. what a mug. still, one perseveres, i applied for a small grant to do a show in manchester, at the Lowry. that went well, the filling of the form that is. only i ain t heard back.
Did yet another show way up north, near durham, felt lucky to get it, it paid £400. the show was made up of ill disciplined merry folk, by the time i got on they were using their mobile phones, and i had to tell them off for it, which was the right thing to do. my set went pretty well i think. considering how drunk some of them were- the venue was a sprawling pub in a place called Stanley (like the knife).
wed 17th dec. watched a 1935 british film of Scrooge, how quaint it was, they didn’t use many special fx for the ghosts, they used the old invisibility/sound trick, marley was nothing more than the sound of dragging chains (better than the sound of music) – which no doubt would please the old miser.
Had many experiences of late which have gone unmarked, i shall try to mention a few of them…had a hire car for over a week recently, on the last night b4 taking it back in the morning i took the car out to get petrol, i’m down by the morriston r’bout and suddenly i get a nasty tap from behind- a young, new driver has bumped me, and punctured the rear bumper, so unlucky. if it had been just a scratch then i could have got away with not mentioning it. as it was i knew i’d have to fork out £1750 which is the excess i’ll have to pay. i could pay less but i always opt not to. The young woman was immediately apologetic and acknowledged it was her fault, but ended up calling her father, he came on to the scene and brought the insurance details with him. so a couple of days ago i filled in a form from Enterprise, and hopefully they will investigate and i’ll get all my money back (it wasn’t 1750 in the end, as Jakob, the nice man who works for Enterprise charged me less – well i am a good customer for them). the other annoying thing that occurred with relation to my hire car – in a way this is more annoying – was i got a parking ticket after i parked in Parc Tawe. AAAAGH! i parked there for years without worrying about a 2/3/ or 4 hour limit. but some cunty private parking company from south east england has got their mitts on the land. I was vaguely aware that , when you got to the Odeon -which is where i was on the night of the alleged parking offence – you have to enter your reg in a machine, but the cinema staff do not bother telling you that. anyway, i sent off a photo of my receipts and ticket, and will continue to appeal. these parking companies are scams in the making. in the baking. in the raking. Thing is the hire car company already charged me £35 ‘admin’ fee, that’s before i even start my appeal. what a waste of money, which i probably won’t get back even if i win the appeal.
tuesday, wroet mr kipling,. i got paid fpr teh hsort film…############
i got paid for the short film i was in…..hurrah
did a gig in a pub called Whyte Melville, which sounds like something out of Moby Dick…more to come of that – yes, today is monday 24th nov, and i am stuck in london. am meant to be acting a in a short film, well, i was meant to do it yesterday, but the process of film making is a tricky one, and it’s a first time director. so, here i am, even though my ‘contract’ is only for sunday 23rd, and i was meant to take my hire car back today, in morriston. luckily i spoke to Jordan, who is a really helpful member of staff at Enterprise…he took some flack from another customer on my behalf, and i managed to keep the car for another day. Phew that was a relief, as otherwise i would be fucked. i am staying in this posh hotel which the film company has paid for….so posh they even charge £40 for the hotel underground parking (rip off London!). even the breakfast is another twenty quid even though the room cost is about 240 pounds. I can walk in 20 mins from the hotel to the film set, the film set? it’s a crappy run down terrace flat with no electricity. of course film crews are self sufficient, they bring their own generators. On my way to the film set i called into the Tate Modern, saw some epsteins, some bacons, and some seargants. does whistler’s mother actually whistle ?
So anyway, last thursday i cancelled the medical role play that i was meant to do in the daytime, which i hate doing, but i realised that the gig i had in the evening near n’hampton might be tricky to get to on time, it’s 3 and a half hours from swansea when the traffic is good, and i wouldn’t get out of swansea uni until 5pm -ish (at rush hour). so this gig in Boughton had been in the diary for ages, i felt lucky to get it, the booker being a private individual who is celebrating his 80th, tony boullimer – quite a character. and being an octagenerian does not mean you eat octopuses, but does mean you gave long notes to the comedian about what he can possible refer to and improvise about on the night…a very young , spritely eighty year old who seems to have done everything in his life, cricket, football, painting, golf, and was a big journo for many years. Finally we agreed on a fee and he eventually agreed to hire in his own sound system, which was better for all of us. he sent me a floor plan of the pub, and i could tell it wasn’t going to be easy, but then private b’day gigs rarely are easy. by the time i got there, although i was told i’d be on around 9pm, stage time was lookin closer to ten…maybe i could have done the swansea uni role play after all, but on the other had i’d slept very badly on the wed night so had a lie-in on thurs morning which did me the power of good. anyway, i’m not very sociable in these events, but i did go sit with some of teh guests, and was given canapes (not a can of peas), a lovely first course, and then some birthday cake (yummy). when the birthday cake was cut the guests were brought from their seats to stand to watch to slice it – i thought how ironic as i the comedian was expected to walk around the room. luckily the sound system was good with a radio mic (the sound equipment company had even remembered to include a mic stand!! – they usually forget this subtly important tool)….a man called Simon filled me in a but on the village, and bit more on Tony. though tony’s notes had been quite informative…he said everyone was leaning to the right politically, and it was clear to me that there was plenty of money here. but tony was okay and his son was also friendly – i stood patiently by the bar while the son and daughter, and then Tony himself, did speeches. i could feel lots of reasons why this gig wouldn’t work, lapart from the room’s physicality no one had been told there was a comedian on…but still it couldn’t be worse than that free mason gig i did a couple of years ago in weston – in that gig they had been told there was a comedian but the sound system and microphone were like toys, and the audience were largly facing the wrong way, – i’ll say it again, if things go wrong in these badly set up gigs don’t call the comedian crap!!
But when tony’s son commented on what a bossy boots his dad is (in a good way) i knew i had to kind of focus on that and the audience would get the joke. Richard (?) introduced me, and i went on, and thankfully he did ask the audience , as with the cake, to come gather by the front. most of them did. I’d asked Tony to pay me the fee (400) BEFORE i went on, but he was wiley, and told me he usually paid for services after wards not before….so the pressure was on to go down well…after all a journalist could wrtie the most miserable review of my act, albeit – these days – only in the local boughton rag these days. apparently tony still keeps his journo hand in and writes a regular item there under the pseudonym of Heidi, who is a dog! so i opened up with a few dog jokes, and soon people were giggling, and i played with the crowd, but also did my jokes. leading up to the gig i’d had to explain to Tony that i like to do my act and i can only riff on his notes if the gig is going well….which it did. i did a cool joke about Tony being a quarter french…nice. everything was under control and i must have done at least half an hour, and got out of there by around 10.45pm. another long long drive home, following the diversions. at least the pay made it worthwhile…
19/11/25
billy received my letter. have managed to get him a ten minute spot in howden in december.
The weather was bad end of last week, and in fact the media and the internet were saying on thursday that the friday weather in Wales would be a threat to life. so i almost pulled out of Ben Turner’s gig in the Wirral. In fact i also got offered a potentially closer gig, and for a bit more money, in cardiff…but didn’t want to let Ben down. i waited til the friday to make my decision – and lo and behold, although it was raining – and rained all day – it was slow rain and really wasn’t as bad as they made out. The trouble was of course the potential flooding in mid wales – i’ve come unstuck there before, and had to turn back from a tony vino gig because of roads closed by welshpool/newtown. so, with great trepidation, i set out – set out early mind – and it was a long trip. but everything worked out, i got to the lovely venue, Village Club in Thornton Hough, early, and had two bowls of scouse, yummy, and the gig itself was a cracker despite the front row being made up of all female, blonde, friends….nuff said. I was even given a free hotel room at the end of the night, cos one of Ben’s mates wasn’t going to use his room at the Premier Inn up the road. in the wet rainy circumstances this came as a godsend…
tomorrow i head to cardiff, an interview with somebody within the bbc, about a potential doc film i proposed…i’ll probably fuck it up
did a gig in scotland two weeks ago. drove all the way, but actually did it in three days as i stayed at Billy’s for two of them, managed to get him a set on the bill as well. the gig was absolutely brilliant. but then geoff of mirth control gave me some sob story about his cash flow, so i wasn’t sure if i’d get paid, even though i knew the booker has sent Mirthcontrol the fee already. but, lo and behold, today i noticed it had been paid in to my account, aaah what a relief. i had a similar distance to travel on the weekend just gone….tony (vino) had booked me for a gig in chester, but then texted me last week to say there had been a ‘typo’, the gig was actually in Chester le street, which is more than double the distance from my house to chester. but he agreed to put me up for the night as well as drive me from his home to teh gig. the gig shouldn’t have worked, what with horrible feedback in the microphone, no mic stand, not really anywhere decent to perform. but i went on first and managed it very well. Tony was pleased. next morning i went around to the church where tony has organised a monthly cafe, all proceeds going to refugees. the breakfast was actually delicious. But i been eating too much of late, tony should not have brought that packet of jaffa cakes with him in the car…the temptation’s too great.
11th nov 25
rain rain rain. i have been asked by emily of Histoire to play scrooge as well as Marley, but only for one date. it’s a good challenge, learning a script keeps the mind going.
the toxicity of life gets me down sometimes. toxicity is the only word i can think of when i think of, say, social media, the way people talk about others, the way people bend to others’ will.
6/11/25
so i finished the epic that is Moby Dick…it ‘s cool but i missed the ending. i mean i had this image of Cptn ahab on the back of the whale gesturing with his arm, beckoning others to follow him. what a brilliant image, but it must have been from the film because it ain’t in the book. read a play by Turgenev called Fortune’s Fool…good stuff, reflects on the snobbery of russian moneyed people…why not write a play? i’m afraid i can’t do anything when i feel as depressed as i did at the start of this week. no point asking me why, i don’t know. but if only i could connect with the inner being, maybe i could gain some confidence. i have ideas but can’t be bothered to put them on paper.
also reading 12 chairs, a a russian satirical comedy…well, a farcical comedy. it appears that mel brooks made a film of it, one of his few films which no one’s heard of.
so i went to the clinic (clink) in clydach. the tests for my breathing were conducted by a nurse, but not with a full orchestra. it’s hard blowing your lungs’ full capacity into a plastic tube…i had to do it 8 times but still couldn’t get it right. because i couldn’t match the puff of my first go the whole test was abandoned. i have to wit til January 2026 now…how sad
5/11/2025
i wonder if there’ll be fireworks tonight? the weather is slightly better today. we have neighbours that seem to have fireworks for any occasion . no doubt there’ll be a racket from their garden again tonight. The rain is pretty bad though. today i go up to clydach for my Spirometer test. been waiting long enough for it. my breathing is still a bit affected, though not as bad as it was. Life has been pretty depressing though, can’t tell you the reasons, just is….maybe my dad was right, the lifestyle i lead is not great. But anyway….did a gig in Dalkeith Scotland last weekend, drove up to billy’s on the friday and then the rest of the trip on the saturday. billy got to do 15 minutes. but we are a bit stoned in the car, and i think i said something to offend him. anyway, the gig was great, really enjoyable, best gig i’ve done in ages. the crowd lapped it up, they were so great. long way to go but it was worth it. and a dry run for this coming weekend – tony booked me for a gig in chester , which is not to far, for £200. but he texted me yesterday and said he’d made a typo and the gig is actually in chester le street. !!!! that’s over double the distance from my house, what a typo! but he is offering me a lift from his house plus i can stay the night with him. so fuck it i will do the gig.
30/10/25
just keep your pecker up. my breathing is still an issue ,but better than it was a couple of moths ago. had blood tests, and due to have a spirometer next wednesday. was reading today about a new film being made with Sidney Sweeny playing Kim Novak. To me it’s a non-starter. i mean SS doesn’t look anything like KN, except for two features – sorry to be cynical, but also what story is there in a film about KN? I mean she wasn’t much of an actor, in my opinion, and none of her films are that memorable. even Vertigo is hugely over-rated …what other films of hers come to mind? Of all the classic buxom blonde actresses of the 50s and 60s KN is the most bland – i’m talking about her onscreen persona.
so i went to a private urologist in cardiff – sometimes it’s the only way, if you have the money for it. he advised against me having a full operation on lessening my prostate as i’d end up with dry orgasms – Aoch Ouch awww sounds and feels horrendous, i know what it’s like as that is the side effect from Tamsuslosin. So he prescribed me a new drug. Saw Billy again when i had a gig in Winteringham, near Scunthorpe…managed to get a short set for Billy. the guy who booked me, Gary, was a nice chap who bought us drink and food….after being very good when it comet o diet i let myself go on this trip – Yolanda, billy’s wife, had made an incredible apple tart, of which i helped myself, plus nacho at the gig. Got Moby Dick from the library, it’s pretty straight forward, and is almost a documentary on the whaling industry of the 1800s.
23rd oct 2025
too many back stabbers, or so it feels….i can’t take it anymore. been on some new medication for my prostate, which actually relaxes the bladder…but the side effect seems to be it makes me very tired, so i a, happy to sleep extra hours in the morning. i’m not saying i don’t like the sensation, but it kind of adds to the feeling of being a ‘failure’. i did a gig the other night in Brynamman, it went well but – see my welsh page for more. I have had a few cancellations in my diary, and then i got offered a gig in Dalkeith scotland, which is only 7 hours away. What a joke this job is becoming. Luckily i’ve discovered a way of making money without working – i’ll see you in jail! Been working on my poetry, if one can call it thta, and trying to forget bad memries. been working out on my rowing machine. I’d like to thank Ema for keeping my spirits up.
s’funny, cos in the car journey to wigan i was eating a bag of dried mango, and wasn’t that keen on them, yet the mango salad i had in neath was delicious. have also been snacking on pumkin seeds which i find helps the mind, and is meant to be good for prostate.
Been watching a pile of films, a few depressing but great foreign film, a german film called (in english) Dying/ a pretty bleak picture of a contemporary family, both parents of which have terminal conditions. see more in the film section. What else? – had some nice meals, had linguine for the first time in ages, delicious, with a tomato sauce. also, chicken with a peanut satay sauce and ramen noodles. also, an apple crumble, ooo eeh eleri is a good cook, fair play. Been trying to eat healthy, eating lots of nuts, and seeds, seem to help with the brain. and sleep. My breathlessness seems to be improving a bit, which i pray it will as there’s nothing worse than feeling weak cos you can’t breathe properly.
Drove to Wigan last friday, and did a stonker of a gig in a rugby club. Jamie sutherland gave me it. just like the isle of man gig there was no lighting save for the house lights, and also there was no mic stand, but these things don’t worry me like they used to. i have basically mastered stand up comedy, i may as well give it up now. Cos i’m not gonna get famous. I have stopped looking up reports of shit head – she’s too depressing to read about. but i have been writing poetry – well, i call it poetry. went up to morriston hospital for a blood test, but still waiting for spirometer test. have made an appt in cardiff to see a private urologist (for tomorrow), see if an operation on my swollen prostate is viable. have bumped in to john perrot a few times, he looks so thin and frail now, but he’s still going. have got to the point where mortality is no longer a picture in book that won’t happen to me, it is a glaring reality. watching far too much youtube. rowing regularly in the garden, which is more important now that the kayaking in the park has stopped until spring.
went to neath yesterday for lunch, went to the Castle instead of the usual caff, and had some lovely stuff – a mango salad, flavoured with mint – yummy. had Tuscan salmon – yummy, except the potatoes. they weren’t baby potatoes as advertised on menu, so the waitress gave me a £5 discount. while i was in Neath i called in The Duke and said hello to Tony Grunt. his beard has grown bushy and grey, he’s like Karl Marx.
12th oct 2025
sat oct 4th. drove all the way to billy’s house in bircotes, for a gig i thought was happening in howden. but after i got there i checked my emails and discovered it was in fact not til november. how ironic when you consider all the kefaffle with the hire car last week that i waste all that petrol and drive for 6 hours this week…all for nothing. why can’t i have a predictable text for unpredictable peeple i mean ppople. before leaving for howden i did 2 session in pontardulais comp, and gave out some my Cymro Doniol beer mats, the response from the kids was good/ likewise on thursday morning in Ysgol Gyfun Gwyr, though there the sessions were longer, an hour and forty, 2 sessions. oh well they’re not meant to be a bed of roses. still better than working. i mean in the end it’s up to me what i say to the young people, i can steer the session, don’t worry there’s always a teacher present. one pupil told me a joke : what’s the fastest cake in the world? scone!
sep 29th, monday wrote mr kipling. did three gigs over weekend, very good, the best weekend i’ve had for ages. all three gigs were good, but the one on friday, in nuneaton, was a quiet audience. some people there may have been new to comedy. who knows ? The front row were a bit feisty. Fuckin diversion on the motorway on the way back, which was a headache, as they mix up the yellow signs from more than diversion. Emma came along for a spin.
On thursday i had to got to Isle of Man to do a gig, in Douglas. this entailed getting to london on wed night, staying on Ray’s couch in Hammersmith, then waking up at 4.30 so’s i could get the early tube to victoria and on to Gatwick airport. The journey went fine, and the weather in Douglas was grand, i went for the lunch provided, it was just me, and had a delicious green curry, goat cheese and beetroot salad, and key lime pie, and a beer. delicious. Then tried to rest a bit back at the hotel, but couldn’t really…we were treated really well by the gig people, darren and andy. I ended up walking the promenade in Douglas, must have walked a couple of miles in all, such a lovely day for it. very tasteful city, no penny arcades, and apparently only one Mcdonals. (Machees) macdonagalls.
On friday i did Gavin’s gig in Blue Sky cafe Bangor, it went great. tried to be relentless in my delivery, and succeeded in that. there was a dog just rambling around on stage when i started. how relaxed it was. great to be able to throw in a few welsh comments. i had hired car for all this journeying, but, due to the logistics i had to pick it up in Newport (not the usual Morriston), so came back from gatwick straight to nport. then from there, in the car, and straight to nuneaton. But the car i got was a bigger model than what i booked, which is all very well, i mean more space etc, for no xtra charge, but i soon realised that the engine was guzzling more of the petrol than me usual fiat 500 (or similar), so it pissed me off a bit….still, came up with a solution…i rang Enterprise on saturday and asked them if they’d consider a refund of some petrol money, to which they gave their blessing – but them by sunday, i had a better idea; i would, normally, have to take the hire car back to the location where i got it from, in this vase that would mean me driving back to Nport on Monday afternoon, then getting home on the train, which would be a drag. So, instead of petrol refund, i asked them if i’d be allowed to return the Qashkai – or should i say cash cow – back to the Morriston branch instead, that is, without having to pay for the privilege. They acquiesced, and that is what i did today. so it worked out quite well.
2 of these 3 gigs i got in the week before. so it’s a good sign, confidence builder.
the date today is sep 16th, the trouble with using this page for my diary is i don’t think the date shows up automatically, so it appears as if everything below comes after this, but in fact everything came before. Keeping up the rowing, on my machine in the garden, but the actual kayaking in the canal has been cancelled last couple of weeks – fuckin rain. bumped into Gareth Rees (Tiddles). he asked me why i didn’t come to his home anymore, i told him things have changed, he just turned and walked away. Did a medical role play, where the welsh language was essential. It went pretty well, and the bus didn’t break down this time. starting to get offered a few gigs. Spinal Tap sequel is out but doesn’t look anywhere near as good as original. went to the Welcome Inn in Treboeth, it’s right next to the Daniel James centre – got there and radio 4 is recording some carp with Mal Pope. Christian shit. Met Geraint and he bought me lunch in newly named cafe in Clydach, caeser salad….with chai latte.
thursday 12th sep (or was it 11th?) i did an outstanding gig in Cottingham, near Hull. Loved it, and i ain’t done a gig in weeks. Threw in new bits, and improvised bits including a tribute to Philip Larkin. Billy was also on form, and it was great to see him, i wrote him a poem as it was birthday, though he kept it very quiet. Yolanda had made a cheesecake, mm mmm! Ploughing through On the Road, it’s a fascinating trip man. actually not long to go, next i’ll be reading Moby Dick.
more dogsitting
had to go to the GP< cos i got the breathlessness coming back. he recomended i go for a spirology test, measuring the capacity of my lungs. shit, ido hope i haven’t fucked them up with smoking.
OH the Beatles, again – they’re no re-releasing the Anthology album, but with an additional record (anthology number 4). it will feature AI cleaned up versions of Free as a bird and Real Love. The former is already available on youtube and sounds amazing. I bought – pre-ordered – the anthology for £325 , will get it in November…but two days later i am looking at the track listing of No 4, and frankly it’s pretty crap. I mean Anthology was a brilliant concept but it goes chronologically from A to B in the band’s history, but adding a fourth album with few mid career demos seems to spoil that aesthetic. so, having thought about it, i will try getting a refund. also, i don’t think i’ll be able to re-sell the album later for a profit (this was my only incentive for buying it now 2 b honest, the 4 albums, 3 vinyl records in each album, all served up sealed in a box).
did some dog sitting for Jeanie. while there i watched a couple of old films – A Reckless moment from late 40s, not great. But the Revenge from 1972, with James Booth and Joan Collins and an amazing Kenneth Griffiths…yes it was a bit seedy but it gripped me from the beginning.
i went out mwyara /collecting blackberries – it’s getting to the end of the season, but i still managed to get a couple of boxes of the, Eleri made a crumble, and i made a clafoutis. Rain comin on. went to a couple of neat places to eat in swansea : Zar Zar, an india all u can eat, with some cool desserts. Wagamama was alright, but the kimchee was too hot. the mushroom, shitaki, was fantastic, just like beef.
picked up some medical role play for 2moro, last minute welsh speaker required.
1st Sep –
the gig in Hull last saturday went great, it was awesome to see Billy McGuire again. Not many punters in but hey ho it was fun especially as i hadn’t done a gig in a month – august is meant to b really busy. Fuck it…I took alfie the cute doggie for a walk, and lo and behold the charity shop was open (despite it being saturday) and alfie was over the moon cos the lady always gives him treats. But despite alfie’s lovely countenance and fae, underneath all he wants is food, and that seems to be all the time, so like very mon et of the walk he spends keeping an eye out and his nose open for anything to eat. he’s also not very cute when he comes across other dogs, even dogs much bigger than him will get an eyeful. I bought a couple of things in the charity shop. hopefully will ebay later on.
think i’ve reached a bottom when it comes to how many gigs i am getting, but i can’t be asked when it comes to coaxing or begging people. i don’t know why they can’t offer me anything, only they know. of course there’s lots of others applying etc. that said i do have a gig this saturday near Hull. will be hiring a car, and delivering some ebay shit in the process. Maybe stay in a hotel on the Sunday. Was meant to go to Newport today, but blew it out, there’s always next week. os ydw i’n fyw ac iach ynte.
Old Tudur’s hosting a prog about old castles on S4C. last season he was hosting a cookey show – the welsh lang equivalent of Bake Off. i don’t get it….what’s he know about any of these subject?? sweet FA. OH duww he’s dome well, yes, by getting in with the group. they are so narrow in their choice of presenters. (which reminds me : Huw Edwards spitted in Swansea sporting facial hair and some bottles of Prosecco).
whats the date ? 16th august ? – why do i still feel guilty and ashamed for things i did twenty years ago? they weren’t big things they weren’t really bad things…. i took money from a tv company, in return they followed me around Edinbro fringe. but i refused to let them film my act i the venue. Oh dreary deary reary me….i recall going on the streets of the city, and the director being pissed off with me : ‘Two hundred quid and all you’re doing is giving out flyers!’ or words to that effect. i’m not a bad person honest. i did insist on 200 though, as i was initially offered 50 quid. I’ve not done a very good job of the business end of ‘showbusiness’. still, i had a good run. Just a few awkward moments along the way. you just want people to get one , you want everyone to like you…but it’s not going to happen is it.
been reading the Heart is a Lonely Hunter, and The Land of Green Ginger. i say ripping.
10/08/25
L coming back from France today. oh….well i hope she’s had a relaxing time, and that she can cut down on the drinking. I have three or four bags of bottles ready to put out for the binman. Have not yet received money for gig in Founders, nor for Barmouth gig, but have submitted invoices. Made a couple of large stir fry dishes this week – mmm delicious. Tried not to eat too many sweet things, but did have some Reece’s pieces last night, which i don’t even like that much. But when you have a craving u have a craving. Read the winning englyn of Barddas competition, and don’t understand it, -this has always been my problem with welsh poetry especially cynghanedd. the little words and phrases that i just cannot work out. Had a nice time with Dinah last wed/thursday – i drove her up to wrexham, and the conversation killed the boredom. why is my writing so bad today? so many typos…did the gig in wrexham, in wlesh, to 4 people. pathetic really, but hey, me and the guest acts were professional, and the manager, Meilir, has said he can send me a small amount which he was budgeted. Unlike Pontypridd eisteddfod last year the wrexham eisteddfod was a good bus journey from the town centre. i think the comedy gig i did last year in y Bont benefitted fromit being just around the corner from all the action. It’s a shame they don’t arrange the localising of the steddfod every year, in order to help the local economy more , as well as boost the footfall for welch language gigs (comedy and music). even a last minute effort of flyering did nothing. but i did get to see Anna who i have not met in 2 years. she used to book me for the Minsterley gig, out in the sticks. we went for a coffee, had an instant one in a pub.
4/08/2025
Went kayaking up on the canal yesterday – felt tired after the 4 hour drive i’d done the night b4, but it was great on teh water. sun comin through the trees….i’m paddling along nicely…then a big blue dragonfly flies over and lands on my arm. wonderful moment.
time marches on. eleri gone away for a week to france. everytime it happens i think oh great i’m gonna have a wicked time, but it never seems to feel that good in reality. did a couple of cracking gigs over weekend – first gigs in weeks, on friday was Founders Swansea. Sandro turned up later on, and the manager was concerned he wouldnt show. but in the world of comedy it’s normal for last acts to turn up late. andy white come all the way from the midlands, and stormed it in the middle. Paul Hileyard was great also. But the room is , as i may have said b4, a bit tricky, with noise bleed coming through the curtain. all considered it went well, but my MCing was only serviceable , a serviceable villain. I was tryin to puch the chattin to audeince memebrs, but often failing to come up with anything funny. Such a big room, noise from the other end, the microphone occasionally feeding back. ON THE Saturday i drove up to Barmouth and did the first comedy night (with guest acts – i did a solo there last year), and it was really good. about 35 people turned up which was slightly lower than we hoped. Andy white, again, went on at the end this time. Phil cooper opened, and Carwyn Blayney filled in at the last minute for Katie Gill williams. (that had caused a bit of mid morning drama, Katie had to pull out because of family issues, – this is the stress of booking a show ). Everyone did well in the edn, though, strange, that everyone should do 25 to 30 mins, when i ask for 20. it’s the sort of thing i would do i suppose. but when you’ve got your ‘ booker hat’ on it’s frustrating. still, the audience stayed with it all, but for one lady at the back – she was elderly and wouldn’t stop chatting to the lady next to her. really hard to get her to be quiet, i even went to her in the 2nd interval and asked politely…but she then seemed to get into a mood and wouldn’t talk to me, personally. at all. whereas, in the first interval she’d been chatty. Odd. as she didn’t fit any normal stereotype of a loud audience member, it was tricky to know what to do – though i think she should have been ejected). I drove back to Ynysforgan in my hire car from Barmouth – got pulled over by a cop for speeding on teh way, had to take breathalyzer, but as i hadn’t had a drop it was fine. We spoke welsh. Then i drove off, and lit my joint….
I’d called in on the way up to see John Baddeley, (badly spelt) Dinah’s husband. i’m glad i did, he’s had a rough time, recovering from treatment, he gave me some homemade banana bread. which probably made me funnier. Dinah wasn’t there, but it was good just to have the opportunity for a sit down, a cup of tea, and a chat with John.
sent some letters off about 5 days ago. one to sweden.
24/07/25
am dog sitting Phoebe for 3 days. have to stay overnight. okey dokey…i can do it. Trying to read Theilhard’s Phenomenon of Man. it’s phenomenal. Been very introspective of late, so trying to get things down on paper, and i guess, on blog. Fucked up with selling a pair of trainers on ebay. they were in xcellent condition but then i took them to sweden, and walked in them every day for a week. i shouldn’t have sent them off when they received a bid. but i did, and the buyer wants a refund. oh well, i can get them back, i like them. I put them in the washing machine twice ! i must be the world’s worst ebayer – i should remove these listings before they get any interest. but it’s hard to sell any shit. the otehr day i went down swansea egypt society, next to the Taliesin arts centre, where they were giving away old books, all german. i took a couple of boxes away : old stuff. plus a few cds and dvds. so far no interest. maybe i aught to contact a book seller. rather than put them on ebay. my old friend harriet is a book seller but she’ll probably tell me to Eff off – she’s only intrested in first editions. aren’t we all darling
(21/07/25) here i am the only living boy in this incubator. saw a doc about paul simon. in it he retold the entire story of S and G. they did some amazing things. though Garfunkel wasn’t a composer he had charisma as well as being a fine singer. Been thinking. been trying to write something every day. a thriller, a horror, any damned thing. comedy gives way to tragedy, so it should come easy to me. rain is back. the garden weeds are forever flourishing. thought his year it’s the mare’s tail which is worse. Did i mention b4? – i did a good job on lifting the turf out front, putting it all in the skip we hired. Now the rock garden effect of what eleri’s father did decades ago is shining through once more.
when i went to Thailand, back in 1990, i remember buying pirate tape casettes, the two i bought i would play endlessly at night. they were : animals by pink floyd, and a compilation of songs by Paul simon, or maybe it was an actual album by him. The Floyd line that always got me, as i lay in my mosquito net, in the late humidity was: ‘Wave upon wave of demented avenges flash cheerfully out of obscurity into the dream’. it was blast out of my cheap walkman, but how it comforted me. Meanwhile the Paul simon song that i loved was Mother & Child reunion, which i always liked to think was about the break up of the beatles mainly because of the lyric ‘i know they said let it be’…but also cos both mcartney and lennon lost their mothers, (not forgetting the song ‘let it be’ by beatles mentions mother mary). But in fact the song’s inspiration was a chicken omelette and nothing else. the rythm is great. He’s a good one for rythm is our simon.
(14/07/25 or thereabouts) Came back this week from sweden. went swimming most days in the cold lake/see just by the main road. a cold immersion (over the head of course) feels wonderful. While i was away i managed to get through, and finally finish, the book Under the Volcano by Malcolm Lowry. a hell of a book, an awkward read, a fucked up mess depicting the life of a fucked up man. but i felt happy with myself that i’d got through it.
by the lake one morning i met a young woman who was reading the Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. I instantly thought things which i cannot possibly write here. there’s so many things i can’t write in a public forum, cos i don’t want any of my words used against me later on. Seems a shame, because i like to record my honest thoughts, but still, i have my letters and private diary for that purpose. maybe one day i can channel them into a book. that would be the next great thing, to write a book, or a play, or a script. anyway, i spoke to the lady, and she said she is a poet. from Albania. Stockholm is very cosmopolitan.
remnants of a previous life float within my psyche. like a forgotten dream or a frozen memory. nurture or nature or nachos. can life really be controlled by DNA ,by genes ? surely that would make the entire cosmos a bag of nepotism.
My new podcast. Episode One of Film Talk, with Noel and Paul James
….but will this link work? who knows…
https://www.podbean.com/pu/pbblog-hf995-b5828e
Something different: especially for Xmas:
Here’s a link to a 10 minute film I did last year. I contributed to the script but the idea was the director’s, Jamie. Not bad for a student film!
check out my Wiki profile…not sure who did it, but i am grateful. it’s in Cymraeg!
https://cy.wikipedia.org/wiki/Noel_James
I have done two gigs thus far at the Loaf Bar, Ystradgynlais. Hopefully it will be a regular occurrence. A nice little intimate venue..
https://www.facebook.com/loaf.coffeeshop.3/?rf=283309948377364
A parody of those mundane holiday ads:
check this out:
Noel James – that’s me – did this little chat on welsh language TV a few months ago in 2018. It highlights some of the problems I’be had with anxiety and depression.
I was surprised how smoothly this chat went, considering the subject matter. I think i became the poster boy for ‘men talking openly about depression’ for about 5 minutes…well, Radio Cymru phoned me up about it as well…
The only thing that makes me cringe slightly comes at the end of this chat, when the presenter says ‘hope you get better soon’ – or words to that effect. They don’t really ring true when you are talking about depression. Though yes it’s a nice sentiment.
If you wish to see english subtitles go to ‘settings’ and ‘captions’…
One of Noel’s live shows is now available to stream or download on Bandcamp – see the link below for more details:
YouTube Videos:
Here are the Britain’s Got Talent videos:
Noel James 