Trouble in the air


Life is pretty chaotic at the moment…i have these horrible letters coming through the door re speed cameras. Looks likely i will lose my license soon; such a harsh punishment. What else?

My radio programmes for Radio Cymru went out: Death and Grief  – both in Welsh. I liked them. i will get links up for them.

I haven’t forgotten the vile tweets made about me by a bloke called Garmon last August. He accused me telling a racist joke, which i denied and deny. Such horrible words he called me, and when i did attempt a dialogue with him – on Twitter – his response would always be a repeat of the same vileness – e.g “you stink of piss” –   in an attempt to de-humanise me almost, with the most repulisive insults.

Ironically, within days of writing his comments he was on S4C – national TV inWales – saying ‘I’m never nasty’ on Twitter. There’s a lie right there.

As regards the joke in question, i have told it thousands of times around clubs, and its even been broadcast on S4C as recent as September 2019. With no complaint.

What happens on Twitter is similar to the Witch hunt of old – the ‘witch hunter’ attracts others some who get off on being worthy, others who are genuinely concerned with the problems in our society.  So before i know it I am being challenged, by people who weren’t even at the gig, to write the joke on Twitter…which of course I will never do.

BECAUSE…the joke was told within the context (and supposed safety) of a stand up gig. The joke was performed, not written in black and white.   I am intending to write the joke in a blog, and will soon. But on Twitter? I’m not on trial FFS. Anyway, as i said, it is out there if you look for it. In December 2019 i discussed the joke in details on Gavin Webster’s Comedy Results podcast.

So this bloke heckles me during my set – it was at the Eisteddfod in Llanrwst . then makes a complaint to the Eisteddfod, then writes insults about me on Twitter. Punished me on three levels.

I seem to have hit a nerve.


What’s New..

Hello…it’s end of January 2020 already, and whas happening? well, i ain’t written in a while….been a bit busy: was in India for 10 days. I came back last Monday. Will write more about this – though it was just a holiday in the end it started out as a comedy trip. I was initially meant to perform a comedy show for Saraang Festival in Chennai (formally known as Madras). Sadly, I was told at the last minute by the organiser that ‘nothing had been confirmed’…which was a bummer. So it wasn’t going to happen for me. But i had the flight tickets by then, so…

It was an amazing few days.

No TV or radio station was interested in giving me a camera or recorder for the trip. Just as well then that Golwg – the welsh language magazine – has asked me to write a journal of my adventures, with photos. Keep an eye on this space.


Am currently finishing off 2 progs for Radio Cymru, one on  Death and one on Grief – yes i get the happiest subjects. Working with producer Dinah Jones has been a revelation.


Will be doing some voice over work at the end of Feb for a welsh language kids cartoon. apparently Johnny Vegas does the english version! What a provenance…

Elis James: Funny Nation – Thoughts…

It’s mid December 2019…and somehow i have crow barred my way on to a televisual history of welsh comedy. It’s presented by golden boy Elis James (who i used to know when he was a humble barista in Cardiff all those years ago), on BBC One Wales. It’s comprehensive as these things go. The usual, and a couple of the unusual have featured so far..i’ll try adding some photos when i can (probably crap ones of a TV screen)…

Owen Money was interviewed, which is kind of fair enough, but i winced when he said he nicked his material off others – he was so nonchalant about it!!

The Gavin and Stacey lot were there – and let’s face it Ruth Jones is fast becoming an institution: she’s turning into a school for the deaf just outside Pontypridd.

Of course Ryan and Ronnie had a big bit…maybe only viewers in Wales would remember them despite them having made several shows in english, and broadcast all over the UK. They were, no bullshit, as funny as M&W, with Ryan a powerhouse of energy.

Me, i was not interviewed by the big E himself, but by the director (who is ironically called England), and, as i expected, a mere fraction of what i spoke about actually got in. But hell i got in, and on TV for Xmas! On english language TV only – for  S4C has ignored me…again! (I’m not bitter honest).

Peter Baynham had a short spot. To me he is a remarkable character – not just character ‘act’, though that as well – i gigged with him in the late eighties, such an unassuming guy, but unexpectedly brilliant – especially on the writing side of things. Elis asked him if there were any other welsh comedians around when he was in London, and Peter amazingly said  ‘Noel James…he’s a genius’…

sorry i’m not bragging…but i am just so chuffed that he said that..and when Peter went onto to describe how i painted myself blue for a late night Comedy Store gig in 1988 I knew immediately that he must have been present at what was only my second ever gig – as i only ever painted myself blue 5 times while i was in London I recall everyone of them fairly clearly – and a memorable gig it was.

Peter said i had commitment to have painted myself blue, all for the sake of a joke that went : ‘I’m a blue comedian’. Yeah well, nice idea, and yes, as he said, i did do the blue make up, but I never said that punchline. No way.

It’s strange. Just a few years ago Kevin Day – who is an amazing joke writer – said on a podcast that i painted myself blue as a joke on being a smurf. Not true. I would never have done such a joke. Why is the truth so hard to recall? I guess the visual aspect of the early act served its purpose though i.e. people still remember the blue comedian.

So what was the joke? what was the punchline? It’s like i have to remind myself that I, above all others, must know the truth as I am the one who, you know, did it; it was MY act. But, on the other hand, isn’t that how history is written…by observers? Here’s the truth:  There was no punchline. The only reference to my make up  – or the COLOUR of it  – were these opening lines:

“I’m not colour prejudiced but I fuckin’ hate blue people…that’s what they used to say to me when i was a boy, all for the colour of my skin…too long in the womb they said, and four years is pushing it…”

I think maybe there was some slight reference to being blue blooded as well, but really the rest of the 10 minute set had not one reference to blue. Not one more verbal reference, that is, though at the climax i would remove my top (which was a tatty old blue Tibetan jacket/kaftan) to reveal, on my chest, the word ‘blue’ written in blue.

While i appreciated being invited on to Funny Nation i was slightly annoyed by the fact that they didn’t include my own explanation of why i did the blue thing. For i did explain it in full to the director. Instead we hear Peter Baynham saying it was a joke on blue comedian…..NO NO NO (I sound like Thatcher now) !  But anyway what’s a little inaccuracy if at the same time one gets complimented by an artist like that?

There was a reason why the smurf myth happened as well….and that was really frustrating. It involves a horrible crowd at the infamous Tunnel Club, and it’s equally infamous MC Malcolm ‘Oy Oy’ Hardee……but that’s another story.