So apparently..

…the first person in Italy fined for being on the streets during this pandemic – literally caught out – when asked by the police, said that he was on his way to see a prostitute. Which is probably not a good idea when there’s a virus about. On the other hand sexual frustration is a terrible thing, and as a hot blooded Italian male – or just as a male – he may well argue that sex is an essential item…especially if you’re not getting any at home. I guess I’m lucky I have a partner though she has made it known to me, during these troubling months, that it’s only one person allowed inside her at a time. …

April 5th, another tax year coming to an end…the stock market is tanking…the second home owners are sneaking down to Wales when they shouldn’t be travelling…my girlfriend is working from home (she’s a civil servant, and by the way, in the joke above I refer to a fictional version of her)…all this is going to have an effect on society after the virus has gone i reckon.

 

Tuesday 25th March ’20

So….no more physical contact with the parents. Not for a while they say. No more physical warmth; no more hugging; no more kisses on the cheek. No more embraces for or from the loved ones..

So what? People have always socially distanced themselves from me, and I them…My Dad never hugged me, my mother certainly never…Tell you what I’m carrying on exactly as before; nothing’s changed !

Blog of sorts…during the Virus

I am not a blog writer….but that’s probably cos i am lazy.  I like writing really, it’s just that the physical act is so laborious….and think of all the things i could better spend my time on!  (all these things involve me lying back on the sofa).  But anyway, we’re currently in the middle of a national crisis etc so i better pull my finger out…it’s late March 2020, and the virus is spreading. The news says that the UK has never before experienced such stringent govt measures on our liberty. Bullshit, what about WW2?? I was not alive in the 40’s but all this stay-at-home stuff…it kind of gives me an incline as to what countries under duress go through. It’s one step away from martial law.

On the other hand we are allowed to go out : for shopping, and for walks. Where i live, today it is a beautiful day outside and the walk i occasionally take here – i.e. in peacetime – is usually done by me alone anyway, with not many other walkers. so i can’t say this has turned my normal daily routine upside down. It’s not martial law, not by a long chalk. …not yet.

I have been tweeting a few jokes, some topical some i think funny, but i am lucky if i get one like. Fucksake. Talking about how laborious writing is (Oh god that was hard to get down)…i read that Douglas Adams hated the physical act of writing. He was of course sublime at times. In HHG to Galaxy he creates the concept of the babel fish, which can translate any language automatically as the speaker speaks and hears it. Brilliant !!! If this really existed – and i suspect we’re not far away – fragile languages like welsh, gaelic, breton etc would be saved overnight.  But what Adams needed was a similar genius invention which made the writing of stories labour free. I doubt if there’s a fish out there that has that scale.

But yes writing is hard, i mean especially if you’re gonna attempt something longer like a novel.   Nice to fantasise that i will use this enforced holiday to do something just like that.

Yes, so anyway, i – like all self employed free lancing knights of old – am currently earning zilch. what does one do??? I can’t say i am at penury’s door …but it ‘s just a matter of time. i have had loads of gigs cancelled, about £2000 pound’s worth of work already. To be fair i  think i will get most of them re-booked…but one needs patience. (which is one thing the NHS does not need anymore of ).  It is easy to panic in this situation – i mean i don’t have a pension, no sick pay, no holiday pay etc….but i am strangely, and slowly, become acclimatized to this long pause in my comedy touring. It is in effect time out. And time out can be a good thing. ‘Time out’ to the student of life is a chance to not just rest and recharge one’s batteries, but also to reflect, to read books, to get to know oneself.

I reckon people struggle with this. On the weekend people, in their thousands went to the beaches, came to the countryside…even though they knew it was wrong, really, i mean there;s no social distancing within gatherings. Why? why can’t they isolate themselves at home, and not go anywhere? Cos it’s hard maybe. why’s it hard, because these days, we have leisure, we have gadgets, we have transport, we have second homes, we have the desire to go, we have the need to escape. Yes escape seems to be an essential part of modern life, even if it’s just a virtual kind as in Netflix.  (Papillon would be well at home here).

But how does one escape if one is ordered to stay at home? at home there’s nothing to escape from…surely. yes well, that depends. Kristnamurky (he of the murky beliefs) would argue that one can never escape from oneself, but one can try. well, that’s the thing, over the next few weeks, stuck in the house, you’ll find out. Can you at least face up to your ‘self’? what ever or whoever that is.

But,  as i suggested above,  there’s always box sets, TV and the inetrnet to keep us busy, and provide a form of escape. Why bother penetrate the psyche when you can throw all your attention into that shit ? Duuuw fi’n cofio…

Trouble in the air

13/02/20.

Life is pretty chaotic at the moment…i have these horrible letters coming through the door re speed cameras. Looks likely i will lose my license soon; such a harsh punishment. What else?

My radio programmes for Radio Cymru went out: Death and Grief  – both in Welsh. I liked them. i will get links up for them.

I haven’t forgotten the vile tweets made about me by a bloke called Garmon last August. He accused me telling a racist joke, which i denied and deny. Such horrible words he called me, and when i did attempt a dialogue with him – on Twitter – his response would always be a repeat of the same vileness – e.g “you stink of piss” –   in an attempt to de-humanise me almost, with the most repulisive insults.

Ironically, within days of writing his comments he was on S4C – national TV inWales – saying ‘I’m never nasty’ on Twitter. There’s a lie right there.

As regards the joke in question, i have told it thousands of times around clubs, and its even been broadcast on S4C as recent as September 2019. With no complaint.

What happens on Twitter is similar to the Witch hunt of old – the ‘witch hunter’ attracts others some who get off on being worthy, others who are genuinely concerned with the problems in our society.  So before i know it I am being challenged, by people who weren’t even at the gig, to write the joke on Twitter…which of course I will never do.

BECAUSE…the joke was told within the context (and supposed safety) of a stand up gig. The joke was performed, not written in black and white.   I am intending to write the joke in a blog, and will soon. But on Twitter? I’m not on trial FFS. Anyway, as i said, it is out there if you look for it. In December 2019 i discussed the joke in details on Gavin Webster’s Comedy Results podcast.

So this bloke heckles me during my set – it was at the Eisteddfod in Llanrwst . then makes a complaint to the Eisteddfod, then writes insults about me on Twitter. Punished me on three levels.

I seem to have hit a nerve.